sassy & a wee bit snarky

blahgs.

2010-01-19T17:05:00.003-06:00

i have a new blog. and i haven't decided if i'm going to continue spewing all over this one as well or not. but the new blog is sure to delight as much as this one. i hope.

http://pishposhnhogwash.blogspot.com

life's most pressing questions, part 1

2010-01-14T12:06:00.009-06:00

what does it mean when i get winded from walking up 14 stairs? when my arm tires from being lifted while i take on the most difficult challenge of putting on mascara? when i can only run about 6 circles around the house with my children before i say, "i need a break, kids"?

it means i need to get my ass to the gym.

preferably in this sweet get-up.

my name is raina and i am a recovering yellaholic

2010-01-07T10:45:00.010-06:00

i would like to begin this post by telling you all that i truly am a genius. i don't really know when or how it happened, it just did. after my last "rant" of me confessing my sin of being a total yeller, i decided to try a reward/consequence jar with my daughters. it has worked miracles. i s.u.n. (translates to: i shit you not).

completed accurately, the following just may turn you into a genius as well. i bought two cute glass jars from a craft store, brought them home and labeled them: consequence jar (draw a frown face) and reward jar (draw a smiley face). next, you sit with your prospective clients and everyone, together, decides what their fate will be. write down your ideas on strips of paper & put them in the jar. some rewards our family decided on include stay up 15 extra minutes, go out for ice cream with just mom or dad, choose a prize from the prize box (which is a buttload of crap i picked up in the dollar section of none other than, my fave, target-the girls eat that stuff up), go to a dollar movie with just mom or dad, etc. as for consequences, we came up with, write x amount of sentences, scrub a wall, mom's choice, organize a drawer, clean the toilet, etc. simple enough, right? wrong. it won't work if you don't follow through. sometimes it's not convenient to have them do their consequence right then, cause you do have a life so you have to post it on the fridge until it is done. correctly. same goes with the rewards. DON'T PUT IT BACK IN THE JAR UNTIL IT HAS BEEN COMPLETED. **YOU WILL FORGET. are we done yet? not quite. you can't just bark out, "ok! that's it! you get a consequence!" i remind my kids ONCE, "if you don't do this, you will have to choose a consequence" or "if you don't stop fighting, you will have to choose a consequence." what we did so we don't constantly have to remind what they receive rewards/consequences for was make a list. on the left side we wrote what they earn rewards for (serving others, doing something without complaining, helping mom around the house without being asked, etc) and on the right, how consequences will be given (name calling, complaining, hitting, being sassy, etc.). the list is posted in our kitchen, on the wall, next to the jars.

i must admit, however, this can possibly turn into a game for the kids. when we first started, my kids nearly died from the anticipation of it all. even for the consequences. what is it going to be?! i hope i get something good! i hope (other sibling) gets something worse! but it really works. it works because a. they helped come up with the ideas so they know what to expect, b. the jars are kept in a main area of the home so i remember to use them instead of reverting to yelling, and c. they have a clear list of rules of what is expected and is not allowed in our home.

my kids get things done! fo real. they are little angels (mostly). and i no longer need to yell, except for, you know, when scarlett drops the baby, or they're annoying the hell out of me; catastrophic things like that.

is there anybody listening?

2009-12-11T21:35:00.005-06:00

i have a dilema that i know is part of normal parenting. my kids suck at listening. for real. well, at least i thought it was part of normal parenting. it seems whenever i ask other kids to do stuff or i am around to hear their parents ask them to get something done, i hear a resounding, "yes". it may take the parents asking a few times but it gets done, without yelling; this i perceive as normal.

when it comes to my kids, however, i have to ask 50 times, count, yell, threat, repeat & repeat some more. i get responses such as, "hold on", " i will", "i don't want to", "why do i have to?", or a blatant stomp around the house. i feel like i (have to) follow them around, bark out orders, specific orders, mind you, & breathe down their necks or it doesn't get done. or it gets done half-assed. i know that if i don' t hound, it really will not get done. i know that "all parents" say they "yell" but i really don't believe most people "yell" in the same way as myself. i am...loud, on occasion.

i used to think, in my years of parenting naivity, that yelling accomplished nothing. now, maybe when they're younger it doesn't. but i am finding that if i don't raise my voice, nothing gets done. it's a sad, sad fact. and by fact, i mean in my opinion, of course.

i realize i am partly to blame- i am an impatient person by nature. ok, not by nature but i've been conditioned to be this way. impatience is a condition that gets me where i need to be on time, almost always, but it also gets me angry & riled up. often. i hate to wait. i have tried numerous times to be patient with my children when asking them to do chores. fail. i have tried to count, patiently, to get them to hurry/finish jobs. fail. i have tried asking them once to do something & see waht happens, only to find they've started playing instead. fail. i don't know what else to do.

i'm thinking of starting a "consequence jar" which is, a jar containing strips of paper that each have a job/consequence listed such as "clean a toilet", "wash the bathroom mirror", "clean the sink" "hug your sister, kindly, for one whole minute". you get the idea. anytime they complain, disobey, or in place of when i would begin counting, i remind them once of the jar & if they need to be reminded again i whip that jar out faster than they can say "poopy diaper" and bam! they get a consequence. i think i could be onto something here. i don't know. is this too tough & mean? my daughters are only 5 & 8. is this age-appropriate? what kinds of things do you do to get your children to obey? and please don't tell me you "yell" cause i think i will vomit. it isn't true. you don't yell.

i guess, if you really look at it, this post is basically me trying to get the ok from you to yell at my kids, for you to tell me that it's not so bad. hmm. how devious of me.

my new year's resolutions (that will most likely be broken before january's over)

2009-12-07T21:22:00.007-06:00

i know it's a bit early (by my usual standards) but i need to begin thinking about this. i always wait too long and then i don't have a plan and then i fail. everytime. every. single. time.

1. lose weight-now, this is almost everyone's resolution but its mine every year. cause i fail every year. but jessica simpson's dukes of hazard body will do.

2. be a bit less sacreligious. confession: sometimes when i say the word "sufficient" a certain part in a certain movie pops into my mind. not so bad, right? only if you're me, you finish that phrase. out loud.

3. eat more veggies: gotta find that zucchini bread recipe.

4. complete projects i start: 1 scarf (fresh outta style now, i'm sure) from about 6 years ago, 1 quilt (more like a blanket with batting but quilt sounds more difficult & fancy) from when london was a newborn, and 1 quilt from about 3 years ago. and a whole slew of other things, i'm sure.

5. exercise. a buttload. just cause i have 3 subscriptions to health & fitness mags certainly doesn't mean i actually heed their advice.

6. kim kardashian. i don't really see how she can be a new year's resolution. just thought i'd throw her in there.

7. be a better mother: find more creative ways of yelling at the children.

8. be a better wife: shop with the credit card instead of using up our savings.

9. budget better: buy more things for others instead of myself, up the limits in the following categories: shopping & date night/entertainment, and add the category, "all things raina", followed by a generous amount, of course.

10. read more BOOKS: magazines are all beginning to sound the same.

11. stop being so selfish: oh, who am i kidding?

it's christmastime in minneapolis, st. paul's slutty sister

2009-12-01T11:31:00.013-06:00

as my title reads, the people of minnesota/st. paul really do refer to minneapolis as the "slutty sister". i guess because it's younger, more hip, and well, let's face it, probably filled with the hyper-promiscuous type.

the reason for this post, however, is not to call names but to visit some of the memories & things i miss having lived there during two christmases/winters. i really, truly miss it and would move back in a heartbeat.

1. the beautifully decorated displays held at downtown macy's, 8th floor

2. ice-skating everywhere you look. all of the local parks ice parts of the grass so you may skate & play hockey as your heart so desires. our kids loved this!

3. also, you can ice skate on the lakes, because, well, yeah, it's about that cold. we never did this because i have quite the wild imagination in which i foresaw the four of us going under. sounds fun. sure it would have been a great memory.

4. the macy's holidazzle parade. this was fun for a few reasons. the first being that because minneapolis reaches arctic temps, they wised up a bit and built a skyway where you can walk from building to building around downtown and not freeze your appendages off soooo needless to say, we would stand in the skyway and watch the parade from above. spectacular fun. the second reason for it's fun-factor was that the girls were so excited. we would usually eat out for dinner first, find our little spot to watch the parade then go find those crazy folks who stood outside selling $5 lightsticks/wands/sabers, etc. the third reason this was fun was because it brought out the crazies.

5. our ward. i can honestly say that the Lake Nokomis ward has been my favorite of the 6 wards we have lived in. it is an inner-city ward where you can be greeted by all kinds of people, in all types of situations, and the love that exudes from each of them lifts your spirit tremendously. the talks, the testimonies, the bishopric, the presidencies, all are amazing and inspiring.

6. the funny outfits people wear just to get around outside.

7. the one-inch thick ice that would form on the windshield of my car. now this isn't something i miss, just a memory i have. :) mine did not ever come close to this but had we lived up north, i'm sure it would have.

8. lee's fogged up glasses when he would get home from riding his bike to work, then to school, then home. yes, in the winter.

9. st. paul winter carnival/ice sculpture festival. cold, but fun.

10. the hustle and bustle that surrounds the Mall of America. christmas time or not. it was the closest mall to our home (7 minute car ride), with all the best stores. so i went there, oft. naturally. it was always exciting.

11. and most of all, i love how minnesotans embrace winter instead of closing themselves indoors, away from the world. this, i believe, is what got me through two of the most frigid winters of my life. but honestly, two of the best.

brassieres & jockstraps

2009-11-13T15:39:00.005-06:00

in cleaning out my girls room for the move today, my 5yr old nephew was getting stuff from under the bed. all of a sudden he starts yelling, "ew. gross. disgusting! i can't believe i touched that!" and i said, "what? what is it?" "a BRA!" so i look over to see what it is, "oh that? nah, that's just a jock strap". yes, there was an actual jockstrap under the bed.

i, of course, went on to explain what it was to him. and scarlett, of course, already knew what it was for. i can thank lee for having that discussion with my daughters. they now are fully equipped with protecting their privates.

you're probably asking yourself, why would there be a jockstrap under the girls bed anyway? well, while living with my in-laws, the girls have been sleeping in my brother-in-laws room, who is away at college. he used to play football.

let's just say it'll be nice not having a teenage boy for a few years. but i sure do love you, ryan!

(sh) it happens.

2009-11-10T21:22:00.008-06:00

i am on a diet.
but i've eaten 3 of these. today. (ok, four).

ideally, 5

2009-11-10T20:20:00.010-06:00

1. our ideal home

2. in ideal city of/or surrounding Portland, OR

3. ideal number of people in our little family

4. ideal career(s), including my fave, motherhood

yes, i'm wondering about the marijuana leaf on the computer, as well.

fashion design

gourmet cook

nutritionist

5. ideal choice of words:

"that's boss"
"awes"
"toats"

all i want for christmas is everything

2009-11-06T10:27:00.016-06:00

it's amazing to me how as soon as halloween is almost over, the stores are filling with lots of christmas goodies and gifts. lights, decorations, great deals on presents. i mean, where does thanksgiving fit in to all of this? i guess i really should be writing this post about gratitude and thanksgiving but, honestly, why start now? let's keep with american tradition here.

i really haven't even thought about what i want for christmas. this post will probably take me all day so i can mull it over. and really, who's to say i'm getting anything at all? it really is all about the kids anyway. it is so fun to buy for them. i love seeing their faces light up when they walk into the room on christmas morning to see what santa left for them. "this side is london's. this side is scarlett's".

but this year is my year. i have a feeling. here are a few things i've come up with, in case anyone is the slightest bit interested. :)

1. IKEA giftcards. we now have a home but no furniture with which to furnish.

2. this hot little number by free people (the white jacket):

3. cooking lessons, gourmet-style. i loooove to cook but want to make something that will blow everyone away.

4. this sexy little get-up to wear when i cook. gourmet-style:

5. subscription to people.stylewatch

6. parfum. mademoiselle by chanel. daisy by marc jacobs.

7. this fantastic body (unattainable by christmas, i know, but here's to dreaming)

8. a vintage mannequin for my bedroom

9. the new reebok easy tone shoes; i buy into that crap. all the time.

10. this sweet bag, in white; found for $27.95 instead of $78, on this site: http://www.6pm.com/roxy-shortcake-tote-limited-edition-white

11. the miraculous push-up bra by none other than victoria's secret.

12. giftcards to the movies or nordstrom/rack.

13. Ikea rug: http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/80084920

5'7"x7'x10", white, $179.99

We are moving...again...only, down the road

2009-11-04T20:29:00.003-06:00

after too many weeks of house/apartment/duplex hunting, we fell upon this:

i went to see it on monday with scarlett and atticus and fell. in. love. as i was walking around inside i felt that this was THEE place. this is where we needed to be. now, we were not typically too stoked about living in utah county, right? but here are our reasons for justifying why we should:
1. its only about 10 minutes from the girls school they currently attend. and not to mention we will only be about 10 minutes from my in-laws.
2. it is bigger (approx 2600 sf)than what we were finding elsewhere (1200ish sf), for the same price.
3. its in a nice & decent neighborhood.
4. we literally are 2 houses & across the street from an enormous park that has two playgrounds, tons of large trees, and a huge grass area.
5. its only for about 9 months or so (until lee finds a job outside of utah, which means the girls will begin at a new school, which is why #1 is super important to us)
6. this home has 3 bdrm, 2 baths, 2 family rooms, 1 living room, 1 gas fireplace, they are including the washer and dryer for us, and the backyard is pretty large. it has a huge tree and attached to that tree are some handles used for rock climbing. you don't understand: our kids loooooooove to climb trees. and this will only exacerbate, er, encourage this type of fun.

right after walking through the place, i asked the realtor if she had time to wait for me to fill out the rental applications so i could just give them to her right then. she said she would wait. i filled them out, talked it over with lee, and heard back today that we were approved and can move in the weekend of the 13th or the 20th. of novemeber. just before Thanksgiving.

i cannot even tell you how excited i am. i've kind of been a pain in the ass the last little bit. ok, a HUGE pain in the ass (just ask lee) because of this entire waiting game. but as usual, things are now coming together and i couldn't more excited!

famous not-so-footwear

2009-11-04T15:34:00.004-06:00

today i parked myself into a little corner of famous footwear. on hand, were my over-sized purse and my over-sized 11 month old boy (over-sized in that both were too heavy to carry around). i was perusing the boots and found these cute little gems:

i set atticus down and went to grab my size. i quickly put them on, zipped them up to my knee(while patting myself on the back at the fact they were able to zip all the way) and checked myself out in the mirror. nice! i loved them! i go and sit down, begin to unzip and then...stuck. i try for the next 10 minutes to get these stupid boots off, that i am quickly beginning to detest. atticus is sitting, or crawling rather, on the floor pulling out boxes, shoes, tissue and just having a hayday. normally i would scoop him up, clean the mess, and leave but i couldn't just walk out in $70 boots, right? so i'm sitting there, swearing in my mind, cursing this terrible curse, sweating, literally, trying to get these things off of me. when i saw people heading toward me, i totally played cool, like i was checking out all the features, seeing how they fold, zip, unzip, etc. i didn't let on that i was stuck in the boots. i contemplated asking the salesMAN to help me but didn't want to risk looking like a dumbass who doesn't know how to remove boots from feet, so i didn't. i then contemplated just ripping them off, risking ruining them but i didn't feel quite right about that either. so there i sat, sweating, breathing hard, trying to catch my breath, looking all around to make sure no one was noticing this fiasco. i think i actually imagined myself being stuck in this one boot forever. hobbling around the dirty streets, being known as the wretched lady with one sexy looking boot. and there sat atticus, making an enormous mess on the floor. i finally folded the boots down as far as they would go, dinked around with the zipper that was zipped halfway onto that annoying little fabric piece that is supposed to block the zipper from poking your skin and just yanked it off my foot. hallelujah! genius! i quickly put addy's mess away, left the boot on the bench, found these other little gems i liked just as much, that work:

paid for them and got the h outta there! what an ordeal.

and the award goes to...

2009-10-24T00:59:00.007-05:00

i would just like to boast for a moment. my husband, who left advertising school 2.5 semesters early for an internship, won three awards tonight for a show that was held in minnesota. THREE! i knew he was perfect for this industry but just barely getting into the biz and winning awards? i could not be more proud. here are his lovely works of art. behold.
(click on the images to enlarge. lee is responsible for the copy i.e words. art was directed by partners from school)

my addy

2009-10-22T12:09:00.005-05:00

this boy melts my heart.

he will be turning one in about six weeks & i can't even believe it! where did the time go? it makes me so sad because i really enjoy the baby stage. with him being my third, however, i have definitely tried to slow down and enjoy every little milestone. he has been the greatest baby. ever. sorry, daughters o' mine, but he is not high maintenance. at all.

here are a few of my favorite things about atticus:

1. he is always happy. except for when he is tired. naturally.
2. he looooooves his sisters. his face lights up when they walk into the room. my greatest joy has probably been seeing my children interact with each other.
3. he's got rhythm. he dances, yeah yeah, old news. but turn on some hip hop and this kid starts bobbing his head with the best of them.
4. he's got a bit of a gap between his upper middle teeth, which i adore.
5. his ears are a bit on the floppy/pokey-outy side. i like to fold them in, which probably doesn't help. take notice:

6. he flips out when he sees animals. loves them. his hands start turning really fast. he does this when he is excited or wants something. such as his bottle.
7. whenever i ask him to say "dada" he pauses then says "gagagagagagaga". lee and i swear he does this on purpose to bug us. which isn't out of the ordinary, considering who his father is.
8. this might sound a wee bit strange but when you change his diaper and have to put on the diaper rash cream he just sits there. completely still. like the world has stopped. and so should he.
9. when i get him up from his naps, be gets the gigantic grin and just rests his little head on my shoulder. and we cuddle. awwwwww.
10. if you ask him, "play bonk?", then he starts to head-butt you-it's our family's little game he started. he waves, he claps, and says, "ca" for cat. he's also starting to say "caca" (for something gross). he's so stinkin' sweet.

and that is why i love atticus. he has such a special spirit about him. i could have 5 more just like him.

bitchfest.

2009-10-16T11:35:00.003-05:00

turns out we won't be getting this gem anytime soon:
http://findandrent.biz/display.lasso?ID=3090&-session=fnr:18025DAF189012F98DvGY31C20CB

turns out the internship with Struck Creative, that's been extended 6 weeks already, is extended by yet another week. boring. something UN-boring, however, is this little piece Struck wrote about my man on their bloggy-blog. (scroll all the way down, once you've clicked) http://deconstruckt.com

turns out lee doesn't want to own a home. i know, right? he hates yard work. needless to say, he doesn't want a yard. how do we solve this little (read: HUGE) issue? he's mentioned it in the past but, c'mon. why would i take that seriously? i wouldn't. and i didn't. but i should have.

turns out i'm hungry so it's causing me to be negative.

turns out life's a bitch. not a beach.

hunger pangs

2009-10-09T16:39:00.004-05:00

i am starving! i just want to eat a big, fat burger with white onions, shredded lettuce, cheese, & mayonnaise. toasted bun with melted butter.

househunting woes of a mad white woman

2009-10-05T00:57:00.005-05:00

yesterday, lee and i went house-hunting. we are awaiting a response from Struck, where lee is currently interning (word?) to see if this mess is going to turn into a job. i hate the waiting game. i need to plan. i mean, where are we going to be for the holidays? how can i buy decorations if i don't even have a home to use them in? when can i stop unpacking at the in-laws & pack up for our own home?

anyway, lee and i were discussing the order of items that should take precedence when looking for a place. what is most important? price? location? space? after all, we had just looked at, in my opinion, 3 heinous places and 1 i could make-do. he could probably live in some sort of upscale crackhouse and call it good. he lived in the philippines for hell's sake. but me, on the other hand, i have needs. he asked me what was most important and all i could muster on the spot was, "i just want something that doesn't suck." that is my way of saying it's ALL important. everything is number one. i then went on to say "i want a place where our kids can run around, in a yard, in a nice (read: not crack-whorey) neighborhood, on the east side, within the boundaries or close to the BEST school. that is my number one." he was not too pleased, i must admit. i think this only made things worse.

i understand i have to sacrifice something, here. but how do i do that? it's all important. we have never lived in a home with a yard. wait. i take that back. we lived in a most lovely, somewhat renovated, tudor-style home (dubbed "the blueberry palace" by it's owner)in minneapolis with a smallish yard (perfect for the girls though)but financial circumstances took precedence, and after 8 months it was ripped from beneath me, leaving my heart an empty, black hole. so yes, a yard is a must. next, we went from that lovely palace to the 2 bedroom apartment. we have 5 people in the family. must i go on with this one? i mustn't. so, naturally, 3 bedrooms are required. moving on to location. that same 2bedroom apartment was decent. the building was older but nice & well kempt. it was, however, located right next to a po-po station, a factory-type thingy and the place where all the snow plows reveal themselves to clear the roads after major snowstorms. AT ALL HOURS OF THE DAY/NIGHT, mind you. it just was not aesthetically pleasing, you know? so, yep, you guessed it, location is a huge priority. plus, who wants to be next door or in the same neighborhood as a murderer or a rapist? (reading "the lovely bones" is not helping any, btw). next up, schools. london attended one of THE best public schools in minneapolis. it was voted "best school" in 2007-2008. her teachers were amazing, the curriculum challenging enough, and it was a beautiful building. dillworth, in SLC, is an amazing school. my nephew attended & his parents were very pleased with it. dillworth made #5 on the top 100 utah schools list. of course i would like my children to attend, right? in order to do so, we need to be fairly close to the school, as i will have to drive there 3 different times a day. its located on about 2000 s. & 2000 e., right in the heart of the most beautiful areas of slc/sugarhouse.

so i ask you, am i expecting too much? what takes precedence when searching for a home for your family? what do i tell lee? and most importantly, how do i spin this in my favor?

it's that dreadful time of year again...

2009-10-03T22:13:00.003-05:00

and by "dreadful time of year", i, of course, mean general conference. now, i don't find conference dreadful. i enjoy it. i look forward to it. when i'm done watching, i am usually feeling motivated to be better, try harder, sin less, and repent more. usually. my children, however, DREAD conference. case in point: the girls were getting ready for bed this evening and london decided to lay out her outfit. for church.
i told her, "tomorrow is conference. we're not going to church."
"oh. yeah." was her reply. then she proceeded with, "i hate conference. it's stupid."
"well, yeah it will be stupid, if you have that kind of attitude." i said.
then she continues, "please let it be canceled. please let it be canceled. please."
"why would they cancel it? it's conference."
she responds with, "well, you know. if someone...died. like....pressssideeeent monnnnson."
"so you want someone to die so you don't have to watch conference?"
"no! i didn't say that. i just want it to be canceled."

did i do something wrong here? we are not the kind of parents who expect our children to sit for 4 hours of the day, listening to our prophet & apostles speak. i do, however, expect them to do something fairly quiet so we may listen/watch. if they think four hours on sunday is bad, what about the saturday session?? they'd probably off someone themselves if they knew it existed. but lucky for them,(and me) i don't even think i knew there was a saturday session or that people paid much attention to it anyway, growing up. so we are usually busy on conference saturdays. take today for example: lee and i house-hunted all day. :)lee attended the priesthood sesh. i took the kids to carl's jr. for some ultimate fun.

oh well. what do you do.

hell hath no fury/satanisms

2009-08-24T20:08:00.004-05:00

for those of you who don't know, scarlett is a teensy-tinesy bit of a satan freak. about 10 months ago, she started asking a new question everyday about satan. what does satan look like? does heavenly father love satan? who do you love more jesus or satan? jesus said we should love everyone. doesn't that mean we should love satan too? etc., etc., etc. she even asked heavenly father to bless satan to be good in her prayers. we had Thanksgiving at our friends' house in minneapolis and they have a tradition of writing down something you are thankful for, putting it in a hat/bag, & then everyone tries to guess whose it is. well, there were your typical things like "family", "friends" and so on. then we get to the one that reads "i am thankful for satan". well, of course lee and i knew whose it was. but no one else did. no one knew we had a satan-obsessed child on our hands. so when it finally came out that it was our beloved, not-your-average 4 yr. old, there was laughter all around.

this has gone on, honestly, almost everyday since november, maybe october. i really wish i would've kept track of all her questions and commentary. but here is the most recent. the following took place last friday:

(mom and scarlett driving in the car)

scar: mom? does everyone have hair on their legs?

mom: yes.

scar: does jesus?

mom: yes, everyone. boys and girls. girls just shave when they're old enough.

scar: does satan?

mom: no. satan doesn't have a body.

scar: (with BIG grin on her face) i already knew that satan didn't have a body. i was trying to trick you.

yes, she sure is a product of lee, isn't she?

week 2

2009-06-16T10:07:00.002-05:00

so it has been 15 days since lee left for utah and things have been going better than expected. yeah, i still call him at least 3 times a day, the housework doesn't really ever get finished, i haven't even startEd packing for the move, and london told a friend that her dad was dead. but honestly, we're really doing fine!

last week we kept busy- i graced target with my presence 3 different times, visited a few parks, went swimming at our place, & set up lots of playdates.

just yesterday, monday, i went to babies 'r us, sam's club, the grocery store called "rainbow"-weird, i know, and the park. it was busy and that's just how i like it. i can't sit around my house because then i feel like i should be doing all these chores instead of sitting and i mean, who wants to do that when you can go out and run errands, i.e. spend money?? ignorance truly is bliss.

on the agenda for the remainder of the week-
*playgroup at the park
*friend's birthday party
*meeting at church
*children's museum
*playdate for london
*visiting teaching
*another playgroup at another park
*girls goIng to our friend's housE for the entire day!!!!!!!!!!

with all of this going on, you must be wondering where atticus fits in, right? well, he is such a dream baby that i have no choice but to bring him along with me on all of our adventures. i mean, he has been the easiest baby EVER. as long as he is fed and changed, you could stick daggers in his eyes and he'd still be cheery. i talk to lee about having more children since atticus has been so wonderful and all he can say is, "why ruin a good thing?". he has a point but really, who's been doing most of the parenting lately?

HAPPY SUMMER!

weekend to do's

2009-05-30T12:13:00.006-05:00

* breakfast at Perkins with my family for one final time
* clean, clean, clean
* laundry
* help lee pack :( ...and maybe sneak one of the kids in

(this is not atticus, btw)
* take a nap at some point
* one last date with lee before we part ways for 2.5 months :(

* scrape boogers off my kids' walls (new discovery, just today. i almost died)
* make my kids scrape their own booger of their walls-now we're talkin'!
* church, one last time as an entity :(
* start scoping out places to live in the SLC
* let girls stay up late to spend time with their daddy

what are your plans?

it looks as though....

2009-05-29T12:34:00.005-05:00

we are moving to utah! lee said he would only move back to utah if he got a job with STRUCK. low and behold, he just received word that he's been accepted for a summer internship with them, paid nonetheless. and due to recent events (job lay-off from wells fargo) there is absolutely no reason for any of us to stay here in minneapolis!

so expect to see our beautiful, sunshiney faces this summer. you can expect lee's as early as wednesday, june 3rd. please feel free to invite him over for dinner, as he will have no wife around, to bring him hot meals anymore (until september).

we are super excited, however, we will miss minneapolis a lot. we have loved living here, experiencing life outside of the only place we've mostly ever known. we have made great friends & have loved, loved, loved our ward. we will miss everything about this city except for the frigid winters that are enough to scare almost anyone in to moving to utah.

thanks to all for your loving support and accepting us as family while here is minnesota. and thanks to everyone "back home" for supporting us in moving here almost 2 years ago. we love and appreciate you all.

my 102

2009-05-28T11:25:00.028-05:00

this is a tradition among bloggers, i think. actually i just made that up BUT, i have seen "my 100" on many so i guess i better jump on the bandwagon. only i've thought of a few more than 100. here are 100+ things about me. enjoy!

1. i wake up around 7 or 7:30 am and my "nap time" is usually around 9am-when atticus goes down.

2. my biggest flaw is impatience, which is usually the reason i "raise my voice" ok, yell, at my children. i hate waiting-don't make me wait.

3. i have never regretted being a stay-at-home mom. i relish in the fact that i get to see the big & little accomplishments everyday. however, i do wonder what it would be like if i had a different career.

4. my husband is the funniest person i know and could very well be the funniest person you know too.

5. i never, ever, ever iron. i hate it.

6. i taste my son's baby food and have a few faves. in the past, it was rice cereal with the formula (when my daughters were babies). is that weird?

7. when i'm nervous i talk really fast and my face turns red. i've even been known to get "splotchy" on my chest. or worse, cry.

8. sometimes i speak before i think. and have had to follow it up with apologies.

9. i dream of having about 6 or 7 children but really wonder if i could handle it. i also imagine myself being a mother and wife in the '50's; cooking, cleaning, & humming all day. and i wish it could be so.

10. i never floss.

11. seeing boogers leaking out of other kids noses is extremely unsettling to me and makes me want to puke. yet, i have to get the ones from atticus's nose. they drive me nuts.

12. the diet always starts tomorrow.

13. i procrastinate like it's going outta style.

14. i get really tired when i'm not doing anything. needless to say, i've been reeeeeeally tired lately.

15. i knew at age 15 that i would be married at 19 & at age 16 i knew it would be to lee kimball, once i got rid of all the "others". mwahhhhhh hahahahahaha

16. and i've never been happier.

17. i secretly want a 1/4 sleeve (tattoo) but i know too much and would be held way too accountable.

18. i've only had 3 "real" boyfriends (dated about 10 months each). and i always hated dating.

19. when lee had asked permission to marry me, my dad sat us down to talk about our "plan". lee started joking around about divorce. he and i thought it was hilarious. my dad? not so much. i think it may have been the one time lee was intimidated. remember that dad? :)

20. i've only broken one bone-in my leg. when i was 4. it was all my sister's fault. we were riding together and my leg got caught in the spoke.

21. i love christmas but i hate winter. with a passion.

22. i love summer but i hate the heat. guess i'm never truly satisfied.

23. i dream of being able to go on a shopping spree and having it actually be ok. (no guilt involved)

24. if i had nicole richie's body, i'd never complain. if i had jessica simpson's dukes of hazards body i'd still never complain.

25. i can't say who my favorite band is, what my favorite movie is, or my favorite book because i really don't know. which brings me to #26.

26. i am completely indecisive. this could very well be the one & only thing that annoys lee about me.

27. i am a very light sleeper. which could explain why i'm tired a lot.

28. i've been known to be a bit "lazy". getting out of bed everyday is the worst part of my day-i have to do it in baby steps. you know, first being woken up by the baby, then the girls come in and we all lay there playing around for a bit until someone says, "can i eat now?" oh yeah, breakfast. then i take about another 5-10 minutes before i get out of bed. poor kids have usually been awake for about an hour to an hour and a half before i've even seen the light of day.

29. i feel myself becoming one of those parents who vicariously live through their children and want them to grow up doing what they wished they'd done. but i think i'm a bit too wise to let it go too far. its ok to have big dreams for them, right?

30. i'm drawn to funny people. they are fascinating.

31. when we're driving, one of my kids will usually say, "mom. why do you have to go so fast?" oops. i really don't drive that fast. they're just small so things are magnified. you know.

32. i have seven magazine subscriptions.

33. i love the church and have found it more and more interesting since becoming a mother. i better understand why we do certain things. i cannot imagine life without the gospel. i could not survive.

34. but i am still much too intimidated to "share the gospel". maybe i should have served a mish before getting hitched.

35. i love my in-laws just as much as my family. we all get along great and i love that. not too many people can say that.

36. i will be having a conversation with someone and my mind will wander to something else but i can still input the "uh-huhs" in the correct place.

37. i cannot spin around with my kids or go on the tire swing; it makes me incredibly nauseous.

38. i needs me a diet pepsi just about everyday. but i am not addicted.

39. i have to go to target at least once a week. at the very least.

40. i can find an excuse for almost anything, just to get out of something. this is probably another annoyance of lee's.

41. lee and i do this thing lately where all of a sudden, out the blue he'll start beat boxing a little and i chime in with my sweet dance moves & fingers a snappin' to the beat. it goes on for about 15 seconds and then it just ends. and we continue with whatever we were doing.

42. i've been confronted twice in my life by black people who mistakenly thought i was being racist. the first incident scared the crap out of me. the second just pissed me off.

43. i get nervous that my 6 month old is going to begin crawling any moment.

44. i have a need to be right but can't argue worth a damn. i don't even know what my point is half the time. i would not make a fantastic lawyer.

45. i need to turn this fat arse:

into this:

45. i use the term "gay" in describing something i find to be "lame". example: "that shirt is so gay". i refuse to feel bad about it. i do not mean it in a derogatory way toward homosexuals whatsoever. if someone is offended, it's their problem. but i will do my best to not use it around them. but as mentioned in #8, i sometimes speak before thinking.

46. flaws i find annoying in others usually end up being similar to things i do. but you know, i find good excuses as to why i do them.

47. i never understood how rewarding motherhood really is until i had kids.

48. i never understood how much manipulation is involved in motherhood until i had kids. actually, i think the term i am looking for is negotiation.

49. sometimes i feel like my children are smarter than me. but then i quickly remember how i manipulated them earlier in the day and i feel so much better.

50. i often feel like i don't deserve lee. he melts my heart.

51. i sort of relish in the fact that we don't have cable. but somehow i still manage to waste great amounts of time.

52. i'm ok with "borrowing" internet from our neighbors. God understands our situation, right?

53. i never thought i'd use the dvd player as a babysitter but...

54. the thought of owning and driving a minivan doesn't frighten me as much as it used to. as long as it is totally pimped out. not "low-rider" pimped but "hot, cool mom" pimped.

55. i always write & intend on sending my thank you notes but they just don't make it to the mailbox. sorry everyone.

56. i wish i would have stuck with dancing; i prolly could have been the winner 5x's over on "so you think you can dance".

57. i am determined to get the "1/16 ethnicity" college scholarship for my children. thanks lee!

58. i have visited mexico, france, italy, & the philippines. my favorite was france. i took 4 1/2 yrs of french and i actually got to use a little of it!

59. i have a certain way of getting almost anything i want.

60. yes, i am almost certain this post makes me sound extremely snobbish. but i'm really a sweetheart. just ask anyone i've never pissed off.

61. webster's dictionary: passive aggressive, adjective-raina dawnn lewis kimball.

62. i try not to judge others but some people just make it too difficult. :)

63. even though i get flustered & kind of crazy, i looove chaos, busyness, etc.

64. i have refused so many websites (myspace, facebook, blogger, etc.) only to realize how much they are the lifeline of everyone i know so i feel i have to join in too.

65. similar to #64, i can easily be talked into almost anything. except speaking in church. i will flat out refuse. gasp! even God knows this, as lee and i have moved 5 times and have only been asked to speak once. i will have no part in it. see #7.

66. my biggest fears for my children: drowning, kidnapped, molested, eating disorders. it is not a case of paranoia.

67. london sometimes refuses to give me hugs when i drop her off at the front of school and it makes my heart sink. :(

68. deaf or blind? i choose deaf. i'm a visual person.

69. like many, i thought the lyrics really were, "there's a bathroom on the right" (bad moon rising by CCR). until around age 24 my father in-law told me otherwise. who would've thought, right?

70. i will find any reason to not let you in my home if it is not clean.

71. i get a wee bit nervous when my kids talk about boyfriends, makeup, kissing. (not in the same sentence-just in general) mind you, they are 5 & 7.

72. i am very non-confrontational. unless i am driving and you make a stupid move.

73. i rarely finish anything.

74. i love to cook & bake but only when i am not rushed. when it comes to the end of the day, i'd rather just get fast food for ease and convenience.

75. i get bored really, really quickly.

76. i love to read but nothing too intellectual or my mind wanders.

77. i laugh when i hold up newborn's clothes. they are just so stinkin' cute.

78. i'm grateful i didn't have another girl-i'd be in so much debt. btw, where are all the cute baby boy clothes??

79. my goal weight is 120-125lbs.

80. i'm terrible at returning phone calls.

81. when it comes to someone being accused of murder, sexual assualt, or any other heinous crime, i kind of, sort of, believe they are guilty until proven innocent. mostly because if they really are innocent then they at least must have been up to no good to be put in that situation in the first place, right? ****lee read this one and said it sucked & makes me sound completely judgmental. i agree, however, you have to admit i may be right. in most cases.

82. i love and appreciate how intelligent and educated my husband is but resent the fact that he has been in school for 6 of our 9 years of marriage. and i just lose brain cells with every child i have. what gives?

83. lee and i don't fight or yell-we engage in "lover's quarrels".

84. i love taking pictures but i detest being in them.

85. i miss living in southern california. and no, lee, this isn't my way of letting everyone know i used to live in california. i really really miss it and if we could afford it, i would force it upon lee to move us there.

86. i never understood why they used the term "86ed" for an item that is out in a restaurant.

87. i don't explain myself very well. most of the time.

88. my most recent addiction is blogging. mostly cause i have nothing better to do since lee is in school. big surprise, i know.

89. my favorite subject in high school was english.

90. i abhor emptying the dishwasher. it's been pawned to the lucky 5 & 7 year olds who occupy space in my home, rent-free.

91. miscarrying almost two years ago was definitely the most horrific thing that has happened in my life thus far.

92. i don't believe the world is any more evil today than ever before. it's always been evil. tell me of a time without war, famine, crime, murder in cold-blood, sexual assault, lack of freedom, moral upheaval, etc.

93. i don't show my mum & pop enough just how much i love them.

94. even though i think i may be their favorite. sorry sistas and bro.

95. i just dyed my hair a golden blondish color. now i want it bleached again.

96. i've eaten 3 brownies today. ok four, if you want to be all technical. sheesh.

97. MOM & DAD: CLOSE YOUR EYES FOR THIS ONE: i cheated a little in high school. out of laziness not stupidity.

98. i don't mind packing for a trip because i have something to look forward to but unpacking is the worst. i once returned from a vacation and lived out of the suitcase for nearly two months.

99. i have heartburn from those 3 brownies i ate today. ok, 4.

100. atticus has been my easiest and healthiest baby.

101. i love hosting, entertaining, and dinner parties.

102. i could probably tell you the name of almost any celebrity. i'm not bragging, it's just a talent i posses.

you gotta love the man!

2009-05-27T21:57:00.003-05:00

ok, i seriously have THE coolest husband in the entire world. after today, i realized that i love him more than ever before, which was already as much as i thought one could love another. here's why: this morning i woke up and came straight to the computer to check my email. open & waiting for me was the following craiglist post. er, posted by none other than the leerod, himself:

Save my marriage and I’ll throw in a bike rack - $60

In an attempt to save my marriage, I am selling this bike rack. How can a bike rack be the cause of so much heartache and contention, you ask? I will answer your question with a question – have you ever had a bike rack taking up a sizeable chunk of your 900sf apartment’s “dining room?”

The dimensions are as follows: 00x00x00. The last number is the important one, because that’s the one that determines how deep into the “dining room” this contraption will intrude. You may ask, “why put it in the ‘dining room’ and not the living room, the bedroom, or better yet, the garage?” I will answer your question with a question – how many 900sf apartments do you know of that come with a useable garage for your own? (If there is such a thing, please post it here on Craigslist, as I may need to find a place to stay if I’m not able to rid myself of this infernal thing.)

This is one versatile hunk of metal. Don’t feel compelled to only keep bicycles on it, (although it can house four full-size bikes comfortably). From laundry to garden hoses, two-by-fours to hoagies, this rack will be your second best friend…just don’t let it oust your significant other from your “friendship top spot” or you may be reposting it sooner than you can get it through the front door of your (assumedly) larger apartment and/or house with garage.

Email me, or call me at 801-691-4778 with questions and or benevolent offers to purchase soon. Wish me luck!

seriously, this thing is huge. notice how it is literally touching the side of the stove. yes, it was a touchy subject in our household at one point.

this was posted early this morning and by the afternoon he had received an email saying "i'll come pick it up today". we were super stoked, obviously. yes! $60 in our pocket! (or if you're lee, "$60 to go toward credit card debt!! yippee!") so the guy came tonight around nine. as lee carried it out to him, the guy said, "i liked your post. i wasn't even in the market for a bike rack. the title of your ad just caught my eye." ahhhh, i laughed so hard when he told me that. he's definitely perfect for the advertising industry.

i am married to an absolute genius.

most majorest letdown

2009-05-26T22:31:00.008-05:00

so this past saturday we went to sam's club (see to-do list below). we needed a few things for our memorial day bbq but we really enjoy going on saturdays because of all the free samples. this may sound chintzy but come on, everyone does it. costco and sam's club are completely packed with tightwads such as ourselves every weekend.

however, on this particular saturday, there wasn't the usual swarm of freeloaders & senior citizens wearing white "protective gear" down toward the meat/produce sections. it striked me as odd and once i got closer, i caught on. there were but a few tables set up. like maybe four. and most of them were sampling out, wait, what is that, fruit?. you've got to be kidding me. we came here at 1pm. and on empty stomachs? for fruit? it was a total downer. i mean, i looove sampling varying types of fare, getting just a small taste of one item & moving on to the next. but no, not this time. this time i was greeted with pineapple, watermelon & the likes. thanks, but hello, i already know what these taste like-i've been partaking of the fruit my entire life.

however, it wasn't a total letdown, i guess; we did get to sample a brownie & some ziti pasta with focaccia breadsticks. afterwards we got some lunch & took advantage of the low prices at the snack bar. you know, .87 for soda gigante, $1.89 for a freaking huge piece of pizza that they cut down the middle and then actually becomes two. i mean, who can really complain with prices like that? i guess i can. i'm a pretty savvy complainer, i suppose.

but sam's club better be back in the game upon my next visit or i'm canceling and joining costco. sam's club is the wal mart of wholesale clubs anyway.

mean girls

2009-05-23T10:07:00.004-05:00

she did her own hair. if you couldn't tell. when scarlett returned from school, her hair was down. i asked why she took it out and she replied, "zoe made fun of it." :( breaks my wee heart.

on a sidenote, i always find it interesting to see what people are doing. i enjoy reading/hearing about their daily lives, even the mundane on-goings, their to-do lists, etc. so this is my weekend's to do list, if you care:

*donut shop for breakfast. yum.
*laundry
*make house *sparkle*
*sam's club (for the free samples AND food for monday's bbq)
*host memorial day bbq
*get out & enjoy the weather

pretty boring, yes.

have a nice weekend!

run, forrest, run

2009-05-22T08:02:00.007-05:00

yesterday was london's track & field day at school. this is where all of the students compete with their own class in a variety of activities during the school day. it's a pretty fun way to get kids active & involved.

the first activity was the 50 yard dash; london placed 4th out of her group (even though there were about 4 or 5 racing alongside) :)

the next activity was the javelin throw, where she placed 5th. yeah, we need to practice throwing a bit more.

next up was the speed jump, which is seeing how many jumps w/ a rope they can do in 30 seconds.

then came the team relay. her team placed 3rd!! here they are receiving their ribbons.

the final competition was the long distance run. for this they just received a "participant" ribbon but she did very well! she crossed the finish line ahead of the majority of her class.

the very last thing was a tug-of-war competition between all of the 1st & 2nd grade classes. london's class played 3 times and won twice!

i am so proud of my little girl! she has never been involved in sports (an absolute shame, i know) so i thought she did extremely well. she, on the other hand, was pretty upset about her performance. it made me feel bad to see her so down on herself.

it was super awesome to be standing near her, chanting & shouting her name. and at that moment i realized, this is why i chose to stay home. so i won't miss these precious moments that last just that, a moment.

i also realized my summer goal: play sports with my daughters. and show them they can be just as good as any boy.

HAPPY SUMMER!

staycation

2009-05-21T20:35:00.011-05:00

so my sister, bree, and her adorable twin girls came to town last tuesday! it was a full house but it was the most fun i've had in such a long time. i wish it could have lasted a lot longer. even though there was an accident on the couch. and then on one of the beds. and then on the carpet. and then scarlett thought how cool it'd be to throw up all over her bedroom floor, on the way to the bathroom. after all that, i can still truly say it was so much fun. especially because bree cleaned up most of the puke-she is a nurse, people. she was my "hospital's maintenace team". thanks, sis!

anyway, we kept super busy and did so many things. the first day we went to mall of america. we took the kids on some rides. unfortunately, i only took ones of my kids & none of them with their cousins. :(

the second day we decided to just take the kids to a park. and apparently i am no good behind the camera because i only took about 50 pictures of atticus lying on the blanket. oops. we did, however, also take them swimming at our pool. no drowning accidents. or even close-calls. that is HUGE for me! (scarlett has nearly drowned now about 3 times)

the following day we took the kids to the como zoo and conservatory. even though bree probably saw the restrooms more than the actual zoo, we still had a great time! that night we had dinner at this fantastic place called "punch pizza". it is probably my favorite pizza place of all time! the pizzas are cooked at 800 degrees for 90 seconds. needless to say, we waited only about 5 minutes for our food! perfect family restaurant. except for the small amount of people it holds.

i don't remember what we did on saturday. i do remember, however, that lee was busy that morning & afternoon & perhaps the evening. maybe we went to a park and swimming? bah, who knows? bree: refresh my memory.

sunday, we went to church and everyone just gushed at how adorable my nieces are! after a delectable dinner of pork tacos with all the fixings made by bree and yours truly, we decided to head over to lake nokomis. it was a gorgeous day. and before we even arrived, 3 out of 4 children earned a time-out. :) the joys, right?

exhibit A: it may look like briseis is having a grand ole time but in all actuality she is tantruming.

on monday, well, yeah, i can't remember what went on that day either but i know it was some fun! these last pictures are of the day they left, tuesday. :( and again, i am no photographer. i didn't get a single shot of my sister or me. together. what kind of sister am i? guess i'll just have to make up for it when i go to utah to visit this summer.

thank you so much bree for coming to visit! we had so much fun and you & the girls brightened up our week! we love you tons!

Preparation B

2009-05-12T09:58:00.014-05:00

in preparation for my sister's arrival, i have been quite busy. and so have my girls. i wish i had taken more pictures to capture the moment but i only have a few.

first up is hell's kitchen. and i am not kidding. take a look for yourself:

yikes, right?!

now, have you ever seen such a pristine kitchen? yeah, me too but it still looks damn good.

next up, london and scarlett asked if we could make their cousins a "welcome treat". sure, i said. they decided on Fairy Princess Marshmallow Pops:

upon making these Princess Pops, scarlett decided it would be a good idea to stick her finger in the melting chocolate and started to say, "mmmmmmm. oh. oh. owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!" i quickly got the chocolate off and stuck her finger under cool, running water.

while scarlett was sitting on the sink, screaming, london slipped on the kitchen floor and landed on her elbow & then atticus decided at that moment he was hungry, and not just hungry, but baby-lamb-crying hungry. you can imagine my frustration. it was all i could do to just sit on the couch, whip it out & feed the baby & let the prolactin kick in to calm my nerves.

this is what happens when you dip your finger in melting chocolate:

at last it was time to pick up my sister, bree, & two nieces at the airport!! it was so exciting! we came back home and gave them their welcome treat!

we are so glad to have them here and we are having sooooo much fun! we love family!

anyone is welcome anytime! and we'll even make you a welcome treat!

While you were sleeping part deux

2009-05-12T09:43:00.005-05:00

this is what you get when you mix 2 girls, 1 lazy sunday afternoon, 2 absent (sleeping) parents, 1 abandoned camera, & (naturally) props:

**the photo with the blue snowflake blanket & scarlett in her purple coat "represent winter", pictures with umbrellas are "spring", & ones with nothing but the girls, "summer". apparently. these are their descriptions. so cute.

while you were sleeping...

2009-05-08T21:20:00.004-05:00

this morning i decided to take a nap (not so rare). i suddenly woke up to scarlett calmly yelling, "mom! mom!" i get up and start walking down the hall but can't see her yet. i ask, "what's the matter?" and just as i round the corner she says, "i can't get out."

now i know what she really does while i sleep.

2009-05-08T20:44:00.007-05:00

the girls and i decided to do a mini spa night....needless to say, the cucumbers didn't stay & the yogurt (yes, actual yogurt) kept running down but the nails looked fab. we had a great time!

apparently, the girls enjoy alphabetizing their movies. :)

a lazy morning, lounging in my bed with all 3 kids.

wondering why this picture is on here? if you look closely, you'll notice that atticus has his arm around his father. awww. love it.

slam dunk!

2009-05-06T11:33:00.005-05:00

Lee took Atticus swimming the other day. His first time ever! Although the photos don't look like it, he actually enjoyed it. i arrived with the camera a bit too late; when he was ready for his nap.

I also have a short video clip of lee dunking him but the format isn't compatible with blogger. Sooooo when I (meaning lee) figure out how to change it, I will post for your pleasure! It is so cute & funny. Poor lil' man!

Anyway, enjoy!

Reading Rainbow

2009-05-05T22:14:00.009-05:00

a few weeks ago, i heard on the radio that a child's desire to read quickly declines by the time they reach 8 years of age because they can't find books to hold their interest long enough. as a child i loved reading. during summers my mother would make us read everyday. i loved, loved, loved reading but of course, when it became a job, i detested it. call it an act of defiance, if you will.

i have taken london to the library since she was about 16 months old. we have attended numerous storytimes, seen some of the coolest libraries around. but lately, she has been fighting me on reading (she is supposed to read for 20 minutes m-f). i try not to make a big deal of it because she is definitely the most defiant child ever. since i heard that news on the radio i have become nervous. what if she grows to hate reading? what if she falls behind? i want my child to love reading. she will love to read.

so about 2 weeks ago, my heart melted a little when i stumbled upon this:

and i knew she'd (we) be ok.

Top 2 Reasons I Love "The Onion"

2009-03-28T20:45:00.002-05:00

These 2 articles are posted on our fridge and make us laugh every time.

1. Hillary Clinton Mouthing Along To Presidential Oath

WASHINGTON—Network news cameras covering Barack Obama's inauguration ceremony Tuesday captured Hillary Clinton silently moving her lips along with each word of the minute-long presidential oath of office. As she stood watching several yards from Chief Justice John Roberts, the former Democratic presidential candidate could be observed placing her left hand on a leather appointment book and raising her right hand slightly from her hip. Clinton, who carefully followed the swearing-in procedure with her eyes shut tightly, only varied from the president's words once, when she soundlessly mouthed her name instead of Barack Obama's. Clinton was later seen at an inaugural ball pretending she was dancing with first lady Michelle Obama.

2. Members Of Twisted Sister Now Willing To Take IT

NEW YORK—In a stunning reversal of their long-stated reluctance to take it, members of heavy-metal band Twisted Sister announced Monday that, after 24 years of fervent refusal, they are now willing to take it. "I acknowledge that we promised not to take it anymore, but things change. The world is a different place today, and with that in mind, we would like to go on record as saying that, starting right now, we are going to take it," read a statement released by the band's lead singer, Dee Snider. "To clarify, we would still prefer not to take it, but as of now, taking it is an option that we would be open to. That is all." Bassist Mark "the Animal" Mendoza also stated that, in regards to what he wants to do with his life, he no longer solely wants to rock, but would instead prefer doing other things, such as raising a family and working as a claims adjuster in Rye, NY.

if i could make out with this vid, i totally would.

2009-03-25T12:27:00.003-05:00

2009-01-07T14:01:00.013-06:00

well it happened! about 3.5 months ago. I finally gave birth to a darling little boy. obviously this is not much of a newsflash since the only people who read this are people i talk to and/or see on a regular basis. but some of you have been spared details but lucky for you, i am going to give you the low down.

my beautiful mother came in to town on december 2nd. I picked her up from the airport at 7pm.

we ate dinner, put the kids to bed, did the whole nightly routine, and around 9 pm i began having some contractions (oh and the membranes had been stripped the previous day. thanks, doc!). they started to become more regular & coming a little stronger. after a bit they stopped being so regular but were getting pretty strong. my mom said i should call the doctor just in case. i did at around 10pm. he told me i should go to the hospital in maybe a half hour or so, not to rush but go in. ok, first mistake. i didn't rush. didn't really think it would happen on THE day my mother got here. for those who don't know, my labors are quick. i was in labor for 6 hours with london & 3 hours with scarlett-start to finish. the contractions got really strong & were about 8 minutes apart. so we woke the kids up and drove them to our friends house. we got to the hospital at 11pm. by this time the contractions were coming about every 4-5 minutes. and of course, there was no room for me at the inn.;) so i sat in the waiting room while the nurses worked their magic and i thought about how i might die, i was in so much pain. this photo was taken in between VERY painful contractions: chubs, i know.

finally, the nurse takes me to this tiny "area" & closes the curtain then decides to go on about all these "routine questions" blah, blah, blah. i'm like, listen lady, i'd love to sit & chat it up with you about all the legalities but i'm about to die here and i don't care about my family medical history and all that right now. and no, i am not allergic FOR THE 100TH TIME to ANYTHING!(if you'd just check my medical records you'd see that. i mean what is the point of those when you just have to re-explain EVERYTHING?). you don't wait until i'm doubled over in pain to ask such trivial things. seriously. i was on the verge of cutting her. it may have been with a blunt object but that's besides the point. during her interrogation, i was clenching fists, biting down hard, and trying to hold back tears. i just couldn't do it anymore so at last i said, "can i please get an epidural? i really need one. i am hurting really bad." after the questioning she gets her gloves to check me and says, "oh! you're at about a 7 1/2." oh really? yeah, like all my bitching didn't clue you in? "so can i get that epidural now?" she then proceeds to say, "i'm going to call your doctor right now. you're really close. i don't know if we'll have time." then she walks out. ok. what just happened? i start bawling. you don't understand. i am not one of those who tries to be all cool & natural. no, i'm all about the drugs. the least amount of anything i have to endure best suits me. i don't care how women used to do it. this is how they do it now and i want my epidural. lee and my mom notice i'm crying and say, "are you having another contraction?" i said "no! i have to have an epidural and i might not get it! why was she taking so long?!" at last she comes in and they move me to labor & delivery, i get my drugs (ahhhhhhh, sweet relief), push 5 times, and deliver a most handsome little boy at 1 am!!! 2 hour labor: not too shabby, if i say so myself.

this is my story, in a nutshell, of how my boy entered this world. i have to leave the library and get london from school. yes, still no internet. a shame, i know.

i'm back in a big way (sort of)

2008-12-30T19:27:00.003-06:00

sort of, being that i still suck and don't have internet BUT, my way awesome bro-in-law got me a webcam for christmas so i says to lee, "now that we have ourselves an awesomely awesome webcam, i guess we'll have to get internet so this good gift doesn't go to waste cause that would be dreadful." let's just say i'm still working on him...

excuses.

2008-09-18T13:29:00.003-05:00

as you may or may not have noticed (or cared) i haven't blogged in a while. since i've been back from utah, reality has kicked in and frankly, it sucks. besides being pregnant (which is plenty draining & annoying at times), i have been unpacking from our move, working almost everyday & taking care of my lovely children. to say the least, i am exhausted. if i don't return phone calls its either because a. i'm working/moving, b. i'm sleeping, or c. i just don't feel like talking. lol. sometimes i am too tired to even talk. do you ever get that way? either you said yes or you are lying.

anyway, i don't have internet right now-no more neighbors to steal from. so every now and then, i find myself using the wonderful services provided by the minneapolis public library. but i will be back...

slave for a day

2008-07-29T11:16:00.008-05:00

i love my children. i really do. they are fantastic kids who make me happy to be alive, who help me understand the miracle of eternal families, and who have taught me much about what it means to be a mother. but sometimes, sometimes, i wonder where they came from. not in a religious sense but in a "did my child just really do that? who's kid is this?" sense. i don't take any crap, folks.

case in point: yesterday from the time i woke up until about 5pm i was having a most difficult time dealing with london. she is my precocious 7 year old who is much too emotionally "mature" (i.e. knows how to sass & manipulate like a teen)for her age. trust me on this; i am not bragging. it has been my biggest challenge with her thus far. anyway, i really don't even remember how it all started but she really loves to tell me no & i really love to NOT hear the word no so as you can imagine, we clash. i had asked her repeatedly to clean her room, read, do her flashcards, etc. we had plans to go to a park with some friends so i wanted to hurry and not make them wait. after a lot of squabbling & plenty of warnings, she ended up getting grounded for tuesday & having her playdate on wednesday canceled. i was determined to still attend the park that day so i took everything else away that i could. it got so unbearable that i called lee, sobbing, asking him to help me (he is 1,000 miles away, mind you). i got london on the phone and believe it or not, she still continued to sass & be defiant! she was not letting up. lee got so frustrated that when london handed me back the phone, he told me that her "punishment" was to do jobs ALL DAY (without pay, of course)and yes, that meant that the park was canceled for scarlett & myself as well. i had originally told the girls if they cleaned up their room within a 1/2 hour time frame, we'd still go. so i was the bad guy, the one who "lied". i was pretty upset but agreed with lee that she needed something more than time outs (cause honestly, they rarely work with london). By this time, it was lunch. we ate our food and then the slavery began promptly at 1pm. i explained to her, again, what was expected (jobs all day with no pay, work ending at 5, no playing, etc.)& why this was happening. here is the list of things this awful mother gave her, all the while following her around the house (helping where needed. i can't be all that bad then, right?):
-vacuum our bedroom
-dust our bedroom
-dust & polish the banister
-windex the picture frames in the hall & going down the stairs
-pick up the bathroom, even things that were not hers
-clean the mirrors in all bathrooms
-sort our laundry (which ended up being 4 or 5 loads)
-fold a load of laundry
-clear the table, wipe it down, put the table cloth on
-dust furniture in family room & windex all the glass tables

it was a much more pleasant experience than i expected. she gave me a little bit of lip but i tried to keep it positive by making silly faces at her or telling jokes. her misery was actually extremely humorous to me. i texted lee at one point, asking, "is it bad that i find sheer & utter joy watching this?" and of course he responded, "no. that's one of the many benefits of parenting". so i went on, enjoying every second. i sat around reading a magazine while she put in all her effort to get things clean, watching her walk away from folding the laundry out of boredom, only to come back to it by doing somersaults, and finally as she was cleaning the picture frames she began singing, "cinderelly, cinderelly, night and day it's cinderelly..." oh, how i laughed inside, an almost evil laugh. finally the time came for the workday to end (3.5 hours of cleaning!). she was so excited! i told her what a great job she had done with cleaning and that grandma would be so pleased to have these things done. she ran off and began playing, being very mindful of how she would act the remainder of the day. later, when i had put my children to bed, i left the house. i needed to get out for a few minutes for some R&R. i called bree, my wonderful sister at work and we were just chatting. she asked what i was doing and i said, "escaping the tragedy that is my children". that may seem harsh but i must admit it made us laugh pretty hard, mostly because it was a joke but also because i'm assuming she knew, being a mother herself, what kind of a day i had before i even told her. i am happy to say after all was said and done that london earned back her privilege of being able to play today.

i took the girls swimming today, just the three of us and we had a great time. no friends. it was fabulous. i played in the water with them the entire time and we really had fun, tickling, playing shark, practicing swimming, etc. this is what makes me proud to say i'm a mother. ah, the joys...

i've checked out for the summer

2008-07-25T11:17:00.003-05:00

ok, as you may have noticed and been going through withdrawals, i haven't been blogging and keeping you all updated on our utahn adventures. i've been so busy and i forgot my little camera cord thingy to download photos so you'll all just have to wait a little longer (if you can). here is a list of what we've been doing, in case you care.

swimming, leisurely
swimming lessons
bbq'ing
girls' nights, lots!
girls' weekend in park city
ultrasound for baby (nope, didn't find out the sex!)
playdates
petting zoo
children's museum
slip 'n sliding
movies galore! (kung fu panda, wall-e, the dark knight, journey to the center of the earth, hancock, 21, etc)
cooking s'mores in the canyon
purse party (still to come:jewelry party, sxinney water party)
birthday parties
too many late nights

that's about all i can think of now. london is having her birthday party tonight! her first sleepover with about 4 friends! She will turn 7 tomorrow and i can hardly believe it. i am the mother of a 7 year old? that can't be...how'd that happen? who did this to me? oh wait... :) more info to come...

top 10 semi-funny reasons i love my dad & why you should too

2008-06-16T11:30:00.005-05:00

1. he has probably the coolest hair you'll ever see (well, i'm sure he thinks so)plus he's had that same "style" or variations of it since i was a wee one-i'll never forget the time he permed the bottom though
2. i'm his favorite (well, i like to think so):i'm the "baby"
3. he has the greatest sense of humor; thought the idea of an upper decker was just about the funniest thing he had ever heard (if you don't know, go ask your mother)
4. he loves my mother like they were married yesterday and it's been 37 yrs-he calls her dittle bitthers (little bears? still don't know but has been called that since i can remember)
5. he plays pictionary really, really well (i.e. his "drawings" make laughing at him too easy & so much fun)
6. he loves shoes almost as much as i do (20 pair of crocs? really? is that necessary? yes. it is)
7. he has always misplaced his wallet, ever since i can remember (now, i think he just uses a money clip?)
8. when he'd get extremely sunburned on his back, he'd let us all peel off the skin (now that may sound disgusting but you know you all let your kids do it or you will if you haven't already)that gave me great joy
9. he took me to the hospital when i broke my leg at age 5, along with my favorite blankie, and stood right next to me-i'll never forget
10. he picks his top lip when he's thinking and has so graciously passed the trait to myself, my sister & scarlett

Happy Father's Day, dad. i love you.

if we're gonna burn out, let's do it together. let's all meltdown together

2008-05-29T15:42:00.004-05:00

in order to ready myself for a 2 month trip to utah, here is my to do list. it makes me exhausted just looking at it. and i'm almost certain that only about half the list will actually get completed. two things you must know: a) our friend, anton, is moving in with lee while i am gone because he needed a place and lee needed a friend. b) lee doesn't do laundry or pay the bills. but he will. oh yes, he will.

1. clear toys in basement for anton
2. make list of bills & due dates for lee
3. make list of items to bring (love making a list that says to make a list)
4. finish all laundry, fold, put away
5. stock cleaning supplies; show lee and anton (high hopes, babe, high hopes)
6. clean my closet
7. clean out laundry room
8. show lee cycles on washer and dryer (lol)
9. make list for lee to get house ready for bree and mom (they will be traveling back with me)
10. return all library items
11. put all winter clothes away (is this really necessary? i mean it was only 55 today)
12. de-clutter each room
13. get battery for video camera
14. finish wings for london's musical
15. get dvd player together & charged
16. get minnesota driver's licenses and fax to AAA so they don't cancel our insurance (& so i don't go to jail for driving with an expired license for what, 8 months now? oops)
17. get sewing machine ready so i can bring it & use it.
18. clean out the car
19. oil change

well, there you have it. if i don't return any of your phone calls, this is why. not to mention, i'm pregnant, which basically removes any & all obligations.

p.s. scarlett was at a friend's house today and when i went to pick her up her mom said, "well, they did really well except for one major mishap." what's that? "scarlett cut miriam's hair." oopsies. right in the front. double oopsies. "but at least its still long enough to put a clip in it." way to think positive. sorry rachel!!!

either the third wheel or the 3rd time's a charm.

2008-05-24T14:04:00.007-05:00

ha ha. jk. we are thrilled to announce the arrival of baby #3 coming around december 9th! and we're NOT finding out the sex so stop bugging me.... (ahem, mom xoxo) also, names are picked and no, i will not divulge to the best of my ability. (although my children know and have let the cat out of the bag to a few). i am 3 months and woke up just the other day to discover my stomach sticks out. way too soon? yes. but it's true. and i've only lost weight (the only lovely thing about 24/7 nausea) which is all the more reason this protruding belly is odd. i think i'm at the point where people notice and want to ask but don't dare. thank you to those who don't dare. ;)

life in the fast lane

2008-05-23T13:09:00.008-05:00

obviously, i haven't blogged in a while. one, i was sick. again. two, i didn't feel like it, and three, i've been busy, busy, busy. so in order to update you all on what we've been doing, this may be a pretttttty long post. sorry. :)

first up: Mother's Day. now i usually love this holiday. however, this year seems to be the one that hates me. i have been sick almost every month so far. needless to say, i went to bed saturday night, the day before mother's day, only to wake up sick. normally i wouldn't care because you know, church is boring sometimes. but this happened to be the day where, a) it was a holiday, b) scarlett was giving her very first talk in primary, and c) this was the first time the girls would be singing in sacrament together. and i missed it all.

in order to make up for it, we decided later to go to the lake. as you know, we live in minneapolis and as you all should know, we live by about 500 billion lakes. we decided to go to one about 5 minutes away and is absolutely gorgeous. we walked around a bit and discovered a playground right on the sand, near the "shore", overlooking the lake. it was beautiful. we all had a great time but wished it was a little warmer-the wind was blowing pretty hard.

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next up: Stan's graduation from medical school/mostly pictures of the kids.
we drove to kansas city, mo for stan's graduation last weekend. we got to see stan, his wife, and their 3 children (all boys!) and lee's parents. it was great to finally see some family!

because i only have a camera phone, most of my pictures are close-ups and there are none of the actual graduation. sorry stan. also, the graduation was about 4 hours long and i needed to go to the bathroom the whole time. it was not exciting at all. we were stuck in the middle of the row, with an old, decrepit lady a few seats down from us. i didn't want to make her get up for lil ole me so i just held it. man, was i glad when the ceremony was over. it hurt so bad. anyway, here are a few pictures. of graduation day, not my bathroom experience...

this is stan, london, and stan's newest addition, eli. scarlett with stan's middle child, logan. and then the girls playing in the fountains after dinner at a delicious italian restaurant. there is something so awesome about telling your kids to look down into the hole and wait for the water to come. even though they understand what that means they still do it. ah, the joy!

scarlett in the hotel getting ready to put on her pj's.

london lying in bed at the hotel room

we had a delicious brunch the day of the graduation at this beautiful hotel. this is looking out the rooftop window.

my kids are funnier than yours

2008-05-01T21:37:00.012-05:00

we went to the doctor's today because london and i are sick. what's new, right? upon waiting for the doctor to come in, my kids begin exploring the room, you know, all the gels, pads, needles, swabs, stirrups, the light for peeking in the hoo-hoo, etc. this light, however, happens to be shaped a bit like this:

only taller, of course. so here we are waiting, FOREVER, and my kids decide to pretend they are at a hair salon. how imaginative of them. they take turns lying on the bed, while the other places the lamp just above the other's head. "let's dry our hair!" they say.

here's the evidence:

just then the doctor walks in and here i am, standing with the camera phone in hand, the girls sprawled and dinking around with the lamp. he looked at me, like, "what are you doing?" yeah, nothing better than leaving a great first impression.

after the doctor visit, we head to target to pick up london's prescription. while waiting for it to be filled, we walk over to the toys to browse. london, in all her "sick"ened glory, proceeds to do this:

my favorite part is when she throws her hands up and shuffles her feet (can't really see the feet part). its so very austin powers-ish-(start playing right at 57 seconds!)

equal-opportunity employed

2008-04-17T16:39:00.000-05:00

move me from social class to lower middle-class. as of april 1st, i became a blue-collar worker (april fools, right? i wish). the definition of a blue-collar worker? who really cares? but i found this to be interesting, not to mention, very fitting to my recently employed self: "A distinctive element of blue-collar work is the lesser requirement for formal academic education which is needed to succeed in other types of work, with many blue-collar jobs requiring only a high school diploma or GED.[2] Blue-collar work typically is hourly wage-labor. Usually, the pay for such occupation is lower than that of the white-collar worker...". that ought to make you feel good inside. what is my job, you ask? well, i have become the newest staff member of the critically acclaimed YWCA, working in the "babysitting" department, while the moms go exercise & there's little ol' me, gazing longingly out the little window, one hand slowly running down it's glass, that is normally used for the parents to discreetly check on their children. So according to the above definition, we're pretty much a bunch of retards (not pc, i know) rockin' the joint, earning significantly less than our fellow white-collar comrades. When i first applied to the job the application asked what i'd like to make. i said about $10-$11/hour. I am a mother of 2, after all. i've been the primary president for crying out loud! i was an achievement day leader for 2.5 years. i've had such great experience with kids. (oops. forgot minnesota isn't 200% mormon) boy was i ever the optimist! i went in for my interview and near the end they asked if i had any questions. "uh, yeah, how much do you pay?" "we pay $7.50-$8.50/hour, depending on experience." "oh. ok" (i think i died a little) so anyway, they call about 2 days later to say, "we'd like to offer you the position!" me: "great!" them: "we'll pay you $8.50!" sweet dude. i'll be making the same as they do in high school. now, i can't complain too much, seeing as i never made it to the end of my college years-i decided to get hitched and knocked up instead. and then knocked up again. but honestly, $8.50? just take the Old Navy shirt off my back while you're at it. the Midtown YWCA is no place where you just drop off the kiddies, only to have them sit in front of a tv (hallelujah) until your workout is finished. no, this is like mr. magorium's freakin' wonder emporium, where we have to somehow make the toys come alive for these guys. there is no messing around here, which i love. i always felt guilty (there's that word again) dropping my kids off @ gold's gym knowing they might be set in front of spongebob squirt pants or the likes. lucky for me, my kids don't have much of an attention span, pretty much at all so they'd just go play but still, it's the idea. so anyway, what i'm saying is I actually work. like, hard. i sit and read books endlessly (haha, that last part was funny: "i work hard. i sit..."), play barbies, dishes, store, play-doh, paint. i've even been caught riding the little diego trike that is clearly too small-hence the knees-to-chin problem. surprisingly though, i have fun. and it's not as if i'm planning on making any sort of career out of watching a "brazillion" kids (get it? the Bush joke, remember?) so $8.50 is fine, i suppose. i only have to work 20 hrs or less/week and i get a $500 membership for $50 a year. plus, i got a $300 shopping spree out of it from the husband. what's left to complain about? having to climb back up to social class, i guess.

hallelujah & amen.

2008-03-31T13:08:00.003-05:00

It's a great day for the kimball family...

because i no longer suffer from 3 inch roots, people.

oh yeah, the girls got their hair cut too, which they so desperately needed. this calls for a celebration.

hello. goodbye.

2008-03-21T12:29:00.004-05:00

so yesterday spring was a knockin' and all was well. ALL grass in our yard was visible, weather was relatively warm, it was bright and sunny and nothing could ruin it. then today i woke up @ 7a.m. to this crap:

and we're supposed to get even more tomorrow!!! what is the deal?! it is now 1p.m. and the snow is still pouring down. kill me now, please.

sort of, perhaps, maybe, perchance

2008-03-17T20:52:00.006-05:00

i have semi-decided to begin some sort of a part of raw diet some time in the near (hopefully) future. whatever does this mean, you ask? well, exactly that. i have been vegan before and loved it-felt great. but it was EX-PEN-SIVE, unless you live on horse-feed i.e. grains but come on, who does that besides, uh, horses? so anyway i got pregnant during this last vegan run and stopped because i didn't quite know enough about pregnancy and a vegan diet. then life got all crazazy and up & changed on me and between miscarrying, husband getting laid off, moving to minneapolis in a hustle, and all sorts of new beginnings, i gave up. THEN between holiday (and not holiday) weight gain and gym memberships not being transferred when i moved because gold's gym sucks a load, the time has called for new rainaworld order! but i have done stupid things like this in the past & given up so instead of saying this is exactly what i'm going to do and then most likely fail, i'm going to not set the bar so high, which i apparently am great at. ;) here's the bar: i want to try going raw, only about 50% (which still counts, by the way). it's quite common for someone to ask "how raw are you?" . 'high raw' is around 80-100% but that is setting the bar waaay up there so there will be none of that going on around here. this is just to poke my nose around a bit and get a feel for things. that's as far as i'm willing to admit because, you know, the whole failure thing.

if any of you have attempted this before and liked, let me know! give me yummy recipes and helpful tips because it's always easier when someone has already tried it. and if any of you are interested in doing this with me, it's always easier to actually do it with someone else!!

some sites to check out: (don't worry, no footage of any happy carrots being slaughtered or cooked to death)

welikeitraw.com
kristinsraw.blogspot.com
kristinsraw.com

spring walk

2008-03-17T12:53:00.005-05:00

here are a few photos from a walk the girls and i took the other day. spring is sort of approaching!! yippee! (all from a camera phone so just deal with it)

notice the pants under skirts: spring, yeah! still cold, awwww!

don't mind the roots, folks...

goon :)

london: lovely as ever. i love scarlett, off in her own world in the background. right after i took this photo she stepped into a huge muddy puddle. nice.

they're making it too easy to be vegetarian

2008-03-12T17:37:00.007-05:00

so i was preparing dinner just now and of course all i have are meat products in the freezer-need to use them up, right? don't want lee making me feel guilty about the homeless, right? not so sure anymore. whenever i cook with chicken i usually only use boneless skinless breasts but this certain recipe called for whole cut up chicken. lucky for me, there was actually one in my freezer. i go to open the package and this is what it reads:

in case you can't read due to the fact that camera phones generally SUCK, it reads:
"Whole Cut Up Chicken
with neck and giblets
Giblets may be of irregular proportion"

that last line is like putting the cherry on top, only its a bad cherry. whatever does that mean? giblets may be of irregular proportion? oh for real, i want to puke. i proceed with removing chicken, giblets and all (sickened out of my mind-i would have used my yellow rubber gloves had i not used them to clean fecal matter from toilets but really, what's the diff?) and rinse it off, turn it over, only to see where the little bugger was severed and the dried blood that ensues during the....bloody process (no pun intended). here's what remains of his lifeless body. i couldn't go through with using the rest...(i threw it away. gasp! lee's words ringing: "waste not want")

for the record, i will NOT be participating in the consumption of this meal.

run, turkey, run!

2008-03-10T13:04:00.007-05:00

last night lee and i had a most dreadful meal. first, i must say that i believe myself to be somewhat of a "kitchen goddess". maybe goddess is taking it too far, but it's the closest i can think of next to God, himself (blasphemist? not sure). we had a meal of a 2-3lb boneless turkey, whole wheat dinner rolls, topped with melted butter, and toasted mushroom pearl couscous. sounds pretty good, right? i sure thought so. but mealtime ended with me saying, "that was one of the worst meals i have had in a long time", to which lee replies with a sort of i'm-gonna-get-her, i'm-gonna-get-her-good smile, "tell that to the homeless". ouch. drive a knife through my heart and call me sally. stutter, stutter, stammer "oh come on. you know what i mean". about ten minutes later AND THEN another hour later, lee says, "yeah that was a pretty bad meal". um, ok. i get it. heard you the first time, buddy. but was my ego shot? nah. i've redeemed myself plenty of times. but let me go on to explain this meal, which is mostly about my newfound disdain for turkey.

i pull the turkey out of the oven and make lee check to make sure it is "done". "done" to me is about 30 degrees abov the USDA "done" recommendation. to my dissatisfaction, it was at 160 degrees, right "where it should be", but it had already been in the oven for about 2.5 hours and it was 6:30pm! dinner needs to be on the table by 6pm, at the latest! "it's fine" i say. lee starts slicing the poor, helpless, little sucker (turkeys are one of the dumbest animals, by the way. if it's raining and they look up, they'll drown. completely factual) so slice slice slice then all of a sudden it falls apart. whaa? lee asks, "why is it falling apart!" "well, it IS a BONELESS turkey so how'd they do that? by mechanically separating the turkey and putting it back together, of course". (ever read the ingredients on a bologna package? mechanically separated turkey. um, what? case in point) my own comment must have been what did it. from that point until dinner was over, i sat watching lee finish the slicing, to the best of his ability, seeing all the "juices" resting, now cooked, to the pan (that i'm certain will be cleaned by yours truly). then watching my girls eat the turkey, gnawing on those nasty rubbery parts because they don't know any better and i'm much too disgusted to discuss that at the dinner table. it's too much. i eat a little and because of my utter abhorrence toward the turkey, nothing else of the meal looks remotely tempting. then to top it off, london decides to ask,

"why do people kill the animals? i can't believe they kill the animals. can't they just go to the grocery store and buy the meat?"

"uh, hon, where do you think they were before they ended up at the store?" the farm. right. "and how did they get to the
store?" killed them, then transported (our words, not hers).

"well, didn't they know the farmer was there?!"

"yes but that's what farmer's do. when they have cattle they know they'll be killed and used for the meat."

"oh. that's gross. poor little animals." mostly, end of discussion. it's just too much, stomach feeling a little more weak than 5 minutes previous. my brother's words begin & continue to play through my mind, anytime someone would say 'chicken nuggets' he would say, "nuggets? chickens don't have nuggets" he's a carnivorous, red-blooded, human being but even he can recognize this. oh dear. i'm done for.

after lee's second reminder of the horrendous meal i had made and the girls were in bed, we decided, yet again, maybe we should just go vegetarian. we have had this thought (and tried it out) many times before but because of the typical american meal always "hot on our heels", that habit was a difficult one to break. so we're going to try it out. again. i'm thinking we'll go with the old yet new "flexitarian" status. because i still love my seafood and sushi. and the occasional tri-tip roast so tenderly prepared & seasoned in restaurants makes me salivate. i just won't be cooking one anytime soon...because they're my friends. plus, the rubbery pieces don't taste so good going down either. we shall see.

The Devil and Daniel Johnston

2008-03-09T15:18:00.003-05:00

lee and i have listened to daniel johnston's music for a few years. it is filled with juvenile ramblings, silly phrases, and for the most part, catchy tunes. lee appreciated his music more, knowing some history about daniel, than myself. However, my opinion changed after watching the 2005 Sundance Film Festival hit, "the devil and daniel johnston", last night. it is an extremely moving and personal story that will make you cry, laugh, and feel the utmost gratitude for everything you have. it's the story of daniel's love and obsession for art, music, and archiving his life (and recording his mother yelling at him, which is hilarious, by the way). but it's also about his terrible suffering with manic depression. the downward spiral is more than apparent in the film and you just feel so much for his parents, who have tried to do everything to help him. i can't imagine having a child with any sort of mental illness. i can't imagine the pain and anguish his parents must constantly deal with. watching the show fills your heart with so much love for this man (and his parents). it makes you love his lyrics and appreciate his music and art. he is an amazing individual. it makes you hope, with all your might, to have any and all of his dreams come true, to find the love of his life. you want him to become stable enough to feel the joy of having a career as an incredible artist and musician. and at times, you want the fame for him. the real fame. and you want it to last. the archival of his life is incredible. as you're watching, you're thinking to yourself, "i can't believe he has this recorded." it is amazing. he literally has hundreds of audio and video tapes of every event in his life. i highly recommend this film to all of you. watch the clip for the original trailer. you will be astounded! and tearful.

Suck E. Cheese

2008-03-04T17:27:00.010-06:00

Disclaimer: the following blog is solely the opinion of the author and does not reflect any judgement upon any of you, my friends and loved ones. if any of you shall be offended by such satirical pettiness, don't be.

so seriously? scarlett just had her 4th bday last week and we decided (after all feeling better) to go to chuck e. cheese. i know, i know. lecture, lecture, lecture, white trash, lecture. BUT we thought, "hmmm, well it's in a super ritzy area so let's check it out. maybe it's just the white trash thing to do in utah". upon arrival, the joint is packed. clearly a hoppin' place-the line is out the door. so we wait for a few minutes, line slowly moving, girls anxious, blah blah blah. we get in after our hands get the stamp of approval (thanks for the safety check, fellas) and find our table. Lee orders the following:

1 large pizza, veggie
3 large sodas
1 small pizza, cheese
1 small order of buffalo wings (huh?)
1 salad bar, for yours truly ($6.95)
25 tokens for their lame-ass prizes

the grand total? $55.13! whaaaa? I couldn't believe it. and i am not one to get all hotsy-totsy about prices. with prices like that, chuck should be serving, hand-feeding me rather, champagne and caviar in a bubble-bath martini glass. anyway, we get our pizzas & crap and, of course, it's cold-ish. the salad bar is retarded (i have to give 'em props for using "spring mix" salad instead of strictly iceberg-that's for rabbits, people), and the "wings" are weird and buffalo-y and the "ranch" is not ranch at all but some mixture of crap and crap. but hey, the sodas were great & we even got free refills, yo! and the ghastly prizes? 10 tickets for some random plastic black ant that is the size of a thumb tack? what is one to do with that? needless to say, i've decided that no matter who you are, where you live, Chuck E. Cheese is still the same old let-down. but hey, the kids sort of had a good time. scarlett was still kind of sick and london is catching on that 22 tickets after all that hard work is not any sort of good deal and that redeeming them for a plastic heart ring and small tootsie pop is no big deal; she could find that on the ground somewhere. and if it would save us $55, i might even let her eat it. unopened, of course. we finally got out of there, after all loss of patience (and money) and returned home. Here are some pictures of the "regrettably unforgettable" journey:

clear disdain for chuck e. cheese. just kidding. she was on a roller coaster simulator. terrified. and i'm just the kind of mother to continue taking pictures instead of console.

happier times. :)

it wasn't all that bad and the girls had a pretty good time and that's all that matters. we do it for them, right? right. let's just keep telling ourselves that...

scarlett's birthday

2008-02-26T09:22:00.007-06:00

yesterday was scarlett's 4th birthday. FOURTH. I can hardly even believe it. It seems like just yesterday that she popped right out (literally-i pushed like 4 times, people). although yesterday was her birthday, it was highly uneventful. both children were sick, fevers and all. we tried to make the best of it with what little energy we all had but mostly ended up watching movies and sleeping followed by me making them do the dishes (i'll post the pictures to prove it). i did, however, summon the courage to shower, throw on whatever clean clothes i had lying around, don my superbly stylish sunglasses and drive to pick up mcdonalds for lunch and a redbox movie to watch before bedtime. later we were going to attempt to bake a chocolate cake but i didn't have the energy and when i confessed this to them, they just shrugged. they didn't have it in them either. so we played with scarlett's new dora vanity set (originally $80, on sale at target for $20 right after christmas. BAR-GAIN!) for like 20 minutes, made scrambled eggs for dinner, watched snow buddies (worst show EVER) and went to bed at 7:30-them, not me. maybe today we'll bake the cake and head to chuck e. cheese (ghetto, white trash, i know this but they don't) when we're all better. here are some pictures taken throughout the day. poor girls. you can tell they just don't feel well. i love how pissed scarlett looks in most of the pictures. take note.

they are now "of age" to be my dishwashin' slaves

words from my deathbed

2008-02-23T12:00:00.005-06:00

ok, i have been sick for almost 2 weeks and i am considering ending my life. it all started one cold & wretched monday morning (feb. 11th, to be exact) with a cold (ok, not so bad) and i assumed it was all uphill from there. but no. i started feeling worse, everyday, as the week went on. then lee became sick and because his work sucks ass, he couldn't take any sick days. anyway, back to me. i would feel like crap in the morning and fine during the day, when i usually keep myself busy, and then by evening feeling completely "under the weather". this little routine went on for about 10 days and because i am never one to stand still for long and because i refuse to be a slave to sickness and/or my house, i didn't rest and therefore became more and more sick. By the following sunday, lee and i felt ok but not great so we used this rare opportunity to stay home and REST. I think it was the first day since having children that we all stayed in our pj's all day, doing nothing (except for Scarlett-that girl has to be dressed to the nines no matter what). We mostly just lay our lifeless bodies around, doing nothing but eating, reading, resting, etc. First of all, you should know that i am one of those people who feels guilty for everything. i don't know about you but if my kids watch more than one movie a day, i feel guilty. if i don't play with them every single day or as much as i "should" (who's to say what enough is anyway?), i feel guilty. if we don't get dressed one day & do something productive, i feel guilty. if i tell my girls to keep an eye on each other for a bit "while mommy rests", i feel guilty. basically, i feel guilt about everything. so as the week unfolds, i am really really REALLY wanting to rest but feel it is impossible and that the guilt would be insurmountable! so i keep pushing myself and pushing (mind you, lee is working and doing school this whole time so i am basically on my own until the weekend and even then he works saturdays) until finally this last wednesday night, the fiery wrath of the influenza begins. i begin to ache all over and from that point i know it is ALL OVER for me. i wake up at 3am thursday and take a bath, my body violently shaking, teeth chattering so quick and so hard my jaw is completely exhausted and sore the following day. so all day thursday i am in bed. my poor little scarlett is left to fend for herself whenever possible, watching 2, 3, maybe even (plug your ears, cover your mouth, & gasp!) 4 movies! playing babies, ponies, polly pockets, dare i say, all by herself! and getting food? oh don't get me started. she probably ate one nutritious meal that day. well, maybe not, actually. at least she did get some bananas and oranges herself. oh, the guilt. the guilt is enough to kill me. i did manage to read about 3 books to her before i finally said "that's enough" (i was really trying to trick her in to taking a nap with me. yeah, doesn't work with her) so thursday carries on like so, seemingly never-ending, with about 4 baths throughout the day, with calls to lee every so often asking when he's coming home? can he leave early? can he get me this medicine and this medicine at the store? can you go pick up some dinner? etc. poor guy, feeling not-so-hot himself. :( then we begin friday with another 3am bath, teeth chattering, violent body-shaking, and fever. great. so basically friday carries on like thursday, with scarlett playing babies, polly pockets, ponies, happily, by herself, watching movies, playing games, etc. this whole time i am in and out of consciousness and i hear her laughing and playing and i realize that she is actually OK, that she doesn't need my constant attention. and that i won't die from guilt! she played babies for 2 WHOLE HOURS while i slept in my room; i could hear her in the next room. i felt so terrible & achey that i called one of london's friend's parents and had them pick her up from school because the thought of getting up and out of the house, just to get her from school, required too much effort. the day ended (after my bath, of course) with lee, myself, and the girls eating leftover pizza and going to bed at 8pm and waking up at 7:30am! today i feel a little better, enough to be blogging, i suppose. so after all is said and done, i realized that 10 baths, 1.5 bottles of nyquil, 10 tylenol, 2 packets of theraflu, 2 ibuprofen, 1.5 boxes of tissues strewn around the house, and 3 cough drops later, no one is going to die from illness or guilt, today or tomorrow. happy day! oh and seriously, can i just say that when i am sick i look like a total hag? for real. you know how when people are sick they just smell like, sick? that is me, even though i have bathed literally 10 times in the last 2.5 days. i haven't shaved, cut my toenails, scrubbed my feet in about 12 days, i have 3 in. roots and even though i brush my teeth, i wake up with this filmy white crap over my teeth, that coats my whole mouth and somehow ends up on my lips, making them feel dry. i'm sure lee is wondering what sort of monster has morphed that he climbs in bed with each and every night . god bless him for it, that's for sure!

the good writings of my daughter

2008-02-16T10:46:00.006-06:00

so in london's first grade class, they keep a journal and write in it everyday. london brought hers home from school yesterday and was reading some of the entries to me this morning. she decided she wanted to go outside and play in the snow so i took it upon myself, with her permission of course, to read the rest. here are two that i found to be very funny. it is amazing to hear the things that go through children's minds.

entry #1

it reads:
11-08-07
good rules for me
1. bee nice to other people
2. follow the rules
3. follow the teacheing of the profets
4. play with some one that got hrt
5. oby the comandmens

not living in an all-mormon community anymore, this probably seemed strange to her teacher (#3 anyway). and they say church and state don't mix. hmmph!

entry #2

it reads:
1-17-08
i wood like to go to utah so i could see my old friends. where were we agin. oh yes. my friends miss me and i miss them. and em i going to sandy? yes.

lol! i love that she forgot what she was saying. i can picture it: she's sitting at her little desk tapping her pencil, looking all around, trying to decide what to write. i'm sure this took her like an hour! oh, she cracks me up!

oh and by the way, i just learned that in my daughter's school they only say the "Pledge of Allegiance" on mondays-the principal thinks it's too disruptive. what has this country become?!

i do not heart vd

2008-02-14T16:05:00.009-06:00

i'm talking about valentine's day people. not the other vd. wait. clarification: i mean i'm sure, i know, i wouldn't like that either but seeing as it is valentine's, that's what i am talking about. are we clear? ok. anyway, i was driving to get london from school and this is what i looked like:driving, holding a giant hershey kiss (i won a contest: "who has the most unique item in their purse" me-dirty socks. i have kids, remember?) so, i'm driving and i have this big chocolate kiss in my heavily-gloved hand because i couldn't just wait 20 minutes until i returned home. i wanted it NOW. i'm trying to bite the thing, so much so that my jaw begins to ache. but do i care? no, i just keep gnawing. i will suffer for chocolate. i end up dropping the foil on to my lap and the crumbs spill all over my coat. is that enough to stop? nah. by the time i reach london's school i have a 2" chocolate ball remaining and, heaven forbid i walk in to the school biting off chunks of chocolate so what do i do? i put it in my mouth. seriously. i didn't think it was that big but it was, almost too big in fact, to push to one side. so i look back at scarlett to see if she is watching (i was trying to hide it from her. no, i don't share) and she's looking at me like," what the hell is she doing?" and she asks,"what's in your mouth, mom?" "(mumbling)...just...(shift chocolate ball to other side)...sumf chclit(slurp)." "can i have some?" "naw, you had 'nuff stff day" (and here i've just eaten this gigantic ball of sugar). it worked! anyway i park and we sit in the car until i, at last, finish the little devil and end up feeling like crap, jaw and tummy, lick all evidence of chocolate from lips & teeth, re-gloss (word?) and jump out like i am completely void of guilt. then scarlett says, "here mom, hold my cute little hand." "ok!" so my point is that i hate valentine's day so much that i eat myself into a chocolate stupor. although i'd probably do the same if i loved v-day. so really, i have no excuse. but today, here and now, i vow to stop and just eat like a normal person (because honestly, is it a problem if you're trying to hide it? frick). well, i hope you all have a nice vd and get all the crap you hoped for cause i know i won't . not because of lee but because i don't make a big enough deal TO lee about not getting stuff. "oh don't get me anything. let's just save our money, use it so we can have gas to get to lame places like school" but really inside i'm thinking please, please, please, let this be the year he just surprises me with, like, a secret bank account full of thousands and thousands of dollars and hands me a plane ticket for the vacation of our dreams or at least $500 for a shopping spree. come on, you all do the same. i just know it. and if you do end up getting this crap, well then you suck. do i expect too much? perhaps. i was helping with london's class party today and asking all the moms what their plans were and they all just say, "oh, i don't know. nothing really." is this what married couples have become?? i don't want to be this. i want to be the couple who takes time out of the regular, mundane lives to show love, to let lee know how much i love him and want him. the couple who goes overboard. let's just be all-out crazy & do the uncommon thing and actually CELEBRATE V-day. our vd usually consists of lee arriving home from work around dinnertime, or later, putting the kids to bed, waiting until they fall asleep by dicking around on the computer, reading, watching a movie, then locking ourselves in our room for a romantic romp of sorts and potentially getting an actual vd. hey, at least i'd know i got something! :) love you lee xoxo ;) HAPPY VALENTINE'S TO ALL.

here are some pictures from london's class party.

href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4bQYplDF4N4/R7T0uUxn4II/AAAAAAAAAEA/5uMqQfB7prk/s1600-h/02-14-08_1252.jpg">

i heart amy winehouse. even if she smokes crack.

2008-02-14T15:56:00.000-06:00

this song is my favorite.

i heart friends

2008-02-14T15:11:00.009-06:00

this past weekend, we were very lucky to have our friends aaron and jaime & their two beautiful children come visit from st. louis. aaron had come a few weeks earlier for a weekend visit but i hadn't seen jaime and the kids for a long time. it was so great seeing them all and we had a lot of fun. our kids especially had a great time; they pretty much entertained each other for 3 days straight! anything to not have to parent, right? i am trying my hardest to convince them to move here. aaron is deciding where he wants to do his residency and i choose here. i mean, what's not to like? nothing. this is a great city. plus, i need friends people. i tried to show them around but it happened to be one of the coldest and most blizzardy (a word?) days yet and jaime was sick the whole time. :( anyway, we had an exciting time of children running around, screaming, laughing, playing, fighting, dressing up the real-live 2 yr. old, violet, etc. it was great for everyone. i wish they could have stayed longer but they had just spent 2 months in utah so they decided to get home, understandably so. we already miss them! anyhoo, here are a few pictures from our exciting weekend.

t

how you know it's frickin' cold in minnesota

2008-01-19T08:45:00.001-06:00

this morning i woke up and thought, "i'm gonna be good and finish my laundry i started yesterday". i had put a load in the dryer last night as well as a load in the washer. so i go down to the basement, open the door and burrrrrrr. it's cold! i open the dryer to switch it out and lo, and behold, everything is frozen to the inside of the dryer! no problem, i'll just start it again. i try to turn it on but it just makes a humming noise. crap. so i pull everything out, bitten with frost, my hands burning, it is so effing cold. i hurry...once everything is out i try the dryer again and it works. yeah! so i squish everything back in (you can hear it crunching) a little at a time, start it, add a little more, start it again. so now everything is in the dryer and here we are blogging about it. just thought you'd like to know what cold really is....and now i'm going to watch high school musical 2 with my daughters because zac efron is so hot.

pensive? damn, i was hoping for thoughtful.

2008-01-19T00:14:00.000-06:00

i just finished watching memoirs of a geisha with my friend, julia. loveliest movie, by the way. lee is out on the town with friends so here i am. blogging. i'm in between the state of asleep and awake. somber. my mind is stuffed with so many things; i can't type that quick.
recently i've been thinking about life. i mean i always think about life. i live in life. but i mean really thinking, about my life. i have a beautiful, handsome husband who loves and adores me as no one ever has, two of the most beautiful children you will ever lay eyes on, a family whom i would do anything for, and the two greatest best friends the rest of you only dream about.
after all is said and done, i think about how i turned out the way i have. all the things i don't like about myself. how did i get here? i try to blame it on a list of things but can't do it. i had a happy, healthy childhood. i had god. i had a family i know loved me. i always had a home, food, and shelter. i figure the only thing left to blame is myself. and then i blame myself for blaming myself. it's a vicious cycle that doesn't seem to break. i think about all the things i am NOT, or feel i am not. i could "jot" them down but i will spare you. in the least, it's annoying.
back to my point, if there is one: if i am to blame, i should know how to fix the problem(s), right? then why don't i summon the courage, suck it up, and just do it? my only conclusion is because i am comfortable even though in another sense it's extremely uncomfortable. mentally. it consumes many of my thoughts. fear of the unknown, i suppose, could be the answer. fear of failure.
i don't know. i'll tell you one of the things that really bothers me about myself: the fact that i don't finish anything. like right now. i am bored of "blogging", lost my fire, so i'm just going to end here. no conclusion.

such a perfect day. i'm glad i spent it with you.

2008-01-14T10:34:00.000-06:00

yesterday, all i wanted was to feel the spirit in my home. yesterday, all i got was the opposite. from 9am to 12pm, my life was in perfect alignment. nothing frightened me. i felt spiritual. i hungered for more. i was in church. i know, i know, church, blah, blah, blah. but i know with absolute surety that the lessons were prepared just for me. i was meant to be there yesterday. it was all about me. i was a struggling ward missionary, who was thrown into that calling with no direction, no idea of what i was supposed to be doing so i do nothing; the talks in sacrament were all about the importance of missionary work. i second-guess myself all the time on my knowledge of the scriptures; i sat next to the 2nd counselor of relief society who kept asking questions that i, for once, could answer. i lack faith most of the time, in most aspects of my life; the lesson in r.s. was all about joseph smith. his faith, determination. prayer. all the things i have been lacking. after church, i was being sought out by the bishopric and was called to be a church service missionary for the young single adults, along with lee; we were given 2 PAGES OF INSTRUCTIONS. if that isn't God listening, i don't know what is. i left feeling so full. i wanted nothing to interfere. i left feeling like a new person. i wanted to carry that spirit all the way home and revel in it forever....

the rest of my day was filled with dirty dishes, a messy house, coked-out children running around, screaming & fighting, and when getting along, playing so loudly i couldn't think. lee and i even discussed things we wanted to start doing to keep the sabbath day holy, to feel the spirit in our home. exactly, we talked about it. that's as far as it went. after dinner, i thought, "oh. let's all play a game". bad idea. we chose cranium's jam pack jam, where you try to fit all these different objects in the back of a jeep before the time runs out, everyone yelling (mostly me) "GO! GO! GO!". okay, let me just say these types of games get me all riled up. i feel anxious, like its the end of the world if i don't (or anyone else) fit the suitcase, the fish tank, the tub, AND the guitar all in. i was already so irritable. i couldn't get through it. scarlett was driving me insane by not playing "correctly" (she's 3, mind you). i just got up and said, "i can't do this anymore". then my kids followed, "me neither". oh crap. anyway, after a little squabbling amongst all parties, i convinced lee he needed to put them to bed even though he had done it the past 3 nights (we take turns-me: mon.-wed., him: thurs.-sat., both-sun), even though it was only 7pm. after some yelling, some crying, & some stories i go up to the girls room for family prayer (still annoyed at this point), where i am asked to give the prayer. great. just my luck. after a somewhat monotone, striving-to-be-heartfelt prayer, i lay with each of my children for a minute, give kisses, say good night and go back downstairs to resume reading talks on the church website (i really was trying). when lee got downstairs we chatted. he knew i was annoyed. and if anyone knows my husband, you know he is the master communicator and can get almost anything out of me, in a tricky sort of fashion. he knows how i am feeling more than i do. he describes MY feelings to a T, where i just say, "um, i don't know how i'm feeling". anyway, after a few minutes of his "guessing" i break down, sobbing, and in a matter of minutes i discover & reveal all i want: to feel the spirit more in my home, to not got to bed feeling guilty for anything, to go to bed feeling like i accomplished everything i set out to do that day, to fulfill my new calling, to be a better saint, to do everything i am supposed to do, to feel loved by my heavenly father, to stop yelling at my children for every little thing, to feel like i have control over the important things in my life (family, health, finances, etc.) i want perfection. i am a perfectionist.

after all was said and done, with lee making me feel like i was on top of the world again, i realized my wanting these things had brought the power of the adversary, as with Joseph Smith's first prayer. as with Christ in the garden of gethsemane. all they wanted was righteous and after fighting with that power, they received the things they sought. and their work went on. i had so many realizations yesterday that i cannot deny. neither can i deny that satan was doing all he could to convince me to just give up. i'm the type of person who (megan knows this) does the exact opposite of what i am asked/told to do. i won't give up. for the sake of my family i can't give up.

my story continues with me awaking this morning at 6am (no alarm clock) with renewed vigor & vitality, where i made a healthy breakfast for my family, read scriptures, had family prayer, and sent husband and child off to work and school with a packed lunch, a kiss, and a loving smile. ahhh, the sweet smell of perfection.

frick.

2007-12-19T21:19:00.001-06:00

i can't believe i am actually doing this. i told myself i couldn't, i wouldn't but after reading such hilarious crap from my best friends, how could i refuse? so i thought to myself, "i can do this." and here we are, with a semi-catchy blog title and all! oh boy. am i truly about to partake of such blissful fruits? apparently......stay tuned, my friends and my-not-friends, stay tuned.