famous not-so-footwear

today i parked myself into a little corner of famous footwear. on hand, were my over-sized purse and my over-sized 11 month old boy (over-sized in that both were too heavy to carry around). i was perusing the boots and found these cute little gems:


i set atticus down and went to grab my size. i quickly put them on, zipped them up to my knee(while patting myself on the back at the fact they were able to zip all the way) and checked myself out in the mirror. nice! i loved them! i go and sit down, begin to unzip and then...stuck. i try for the next 10 minutes to get these stupid boots off, that i am quickly beginning to detest. atticus is sitting, or crawling rather, on the floor pulling out boxes, shoes, tissue and just having a hayday. normally i would scoop him up, clean the mess, and leave but i couldn't just walk out in $70 boots, right? so i'm sitting there, swearing in my mind, cursing this terrible curse, sweating, literally, trying to get these things off of me. when i saw people heading toward me, i totally played cool, like i was checking out all the features, seeing how they fold, zip, unzip, etc. i didn't let on that i was stuck in the boots. i contemplated asking the salesMAN to help me but didn't want to risk looking like a dumbass who doesn't know how to remove boots from feet, so i didn't. i then contemplated just ripping them off, risking ruining them but i didn't feel quite right about that either. so there i sat, sweating, breathing hard, trying to catch my breath, looking all around to make sure no one was noticing this fiasco. i think i actually imagined myself being stuck in this one boot forever. hobbling around the dirty streets, being known as the wretched lady with one sexy looking boot. and there sat atticus, making an enormous mess on the floor. i finally folded the boots down as far as they would go, dinked around with the zipper that was zipped halfway onto that annoying little fabric piece that is supposed to block the zipper from poking your skin and just yanked it off my foot. hallelujah! genius! i quickly put addy's mess away, left the boot on the bench, found these other little gems i liked just as much, that work:


paid for them and got the h outta there! what an ordeal.