my name is raina and i am a recovering yellaholic

i would like to begin this post by telling you all that i truly am a genius. i don't really know when or how it happened, it just did. after my last "rant" of me confessing my sin of being a total yeller, i decided to try a reward/consequence jar with my daughters. it has worked miracles. i s.u.n. (translates to: i shit you not).

completed accurately, the following just may turn you into a genius as well. i bought two cute glass jars from a craft store, brought them home and labeled them: consequence jar (draw a frown face) and reward jar (draw a smiley face). next, you sit with your prospective clients and everyone, together, decides what their fate will be. write down your ideas on strips of paper & put them in the jar. some rewards our family decided on include stay up 15 extra minutes, go out for ice cream with just mom or dad, choose a prize from the prize box (which is a buttload of crap i picked up in the dollar section of none other than, my fave, target-the girls eat that stuff up), go to a dollar movie with just mom or dad, etc. as for consequences, we came up with, write x amount of sentences, scrub a wall, mom's choice, organize a drawer, clean the toilet, etc. simple enough, right? wrong. it won't work if you don't follow through. sometimes it's not convenient to have them do their consequence right then, cause you do have a life so you have to post it on the fridge until it is done. correctly. same goes with the rewards. DON'T PUT IT BACK IN THE JAR UNTIL IT HAS BEEN COMPLETED. **YOU WILL FORGET. are we done yet? not quite. you can't just bark out, "ok! that's it! you get a consequence!" i remind my kids ONCE, "if you don't do this, you will have to choose a consequence" or "if you don't stop fighting, you will have to choose a consequence." what we did so we don't constantly have to remind what they receive rewards/consequences for was make a list. on the left side we wrote what they earn rewards for (serving others, doing something without complaining, helping mom around the house without being asked, etc) and on the right, how consequences will be given (name calling, complaining, hitting, being sassy, etc.). the list is posted in our kitchen, on the wall, next to the jars.

i must admit, however, this can possibly turn into a game for the kids. when we first started, my kids nearly died from the anticipation of it all. even for the consequences. what is it going to be?! i hope i get something good! i hope (other sibling) gets something worse! but it really works. it works because a. they helped come up with the ideas so they know what to expect, b. the jars are kept in a main area of the home so i remember to use them instead of reverting to yelling, and c. they have a clear list of rules of what is expected and is not allowed in our home.

my kids get things done! fo real. they are little angels (mostly). and i no longer need to yell, except for, you know, when scarlett drops the baby, or they're annoying the hell out of me; catastrophic things like that.